If you are a vegetarian just to be nice to animals, why are you eating their food?
I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Prevent hangovers. Stay drunk.
Good things may come to those who wait, but all the really excellent stuff will be gone by then.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
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