Magical Must Dos For You

Try interpreting your dreams. Write down all your subconscious visions once you wake up. It’ll be fun to decipher your innermost desires.

Make sure to wear a new outfit on New Year’s Eve to attract luck. If you missed the chance to do so, don’t forget to do it on your birthday!

Go beyond pop! Listen to a new genre of music to expand your musical horizons.

Surprise a stranger with a smile.

Be handy around the house. Mom and Dad will surely appreciate your efforts.

Horoscope

Aries

Think twice before leaping into the unknown! This month, it’s better to relax at home than to step outside and look for adventures. Banish boredom by seeking love in novels.



Taurus

Your predictable ways spell: get a life! get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself with things beyond your imagination. Stand out in school and in your neighborhood.



Gemini

Let yourself shine! Boost your confidence with a dazzling get up. You are a gem and a delicate one. Hang out with people who’ll help make you a better person.



Cancer

Face your fears! Stop running away unless you want to spend the rest of your year this way. Give your best shot so no regrets will come back to haunt you in the future.



Leo

Throw out the old, take in the new! Time to do some cleaning to rid yourself of clutter. An organized room keeps your insanity at bay. Psych yourself to take notes diligently in class.



Virgo

Be thankful for 2005’s blessings and pray for more this 2006. Haven’t been in touch with the people you care about? Do some catching up and greet your pals the best this year!



Libra

Celebrate 2006 with a clean, healthy body and a little blush and gloss. A sweet smelling body spray makes you unforgettable to someone interesting you’ll meet.



Scorpio

It’s all about you this month. Think big and go for it. Make dreams come true in 2006 by taking baby steps this early. Prioritize yourself and follow your heart.



Sagittarius

Your sweetness might get you in trouble. People will have a hard time saying no to you. Don’t take advantage of it or else things received will be returned with a heavy heart.



Aquarius

Be on the look out for new best friends! The world is full of people waiting to be explored. Learn a thing or two about your new pal and copy his/her best trait.



Pisces

Start 2006 with a smile! Invite positive energy into your life so luck will be on your side this year. Been missing someone since the holidays? Drop him a line. He might be thinking of you!



Capricorn

Create your own personal roadmap to 2006. Your goal-oriented self makes big plans this year. Why not include 12 new exciting things to try on your list? Take advantage of new things to come your way. Immerse yourself in the now and live in the moment. Be the best-est friend anyone can ever have and you’re sure to gain well deserved popularity.

Viva Italia

Find It, Love It

Italy is located in the continent of Europe. It is best known for its fine art, food, and fashion – especially shoes. No wonder this peninsula is shaped like a boot!



Famous Cities

Venice (Venezia), Milan, Florence (Firenze), and Rome (Roma)



The Capital

Rome, the place where you’ll find the Roman Catholics’ leader, the Pope!



Best Selling Dishes

Pasta, pizza, and ice cream (which they call gelato)



Must See Landmarks

Rome: The Sistine Chapel, the Vatican Church, and the Coliseum

Venice: Saint Mark’s Cathedral

Pisa: The Leaning Tower

Florence: The Statue of David (at the Michaelangelo Square)



Fun Flicks Featuring The Sights Of Italy

The Lizzie McGuire Movie

Roman Holiday

Life Is Beautiful

Only You



Famous Italians

Actors: Leonardo di Caprio, Robert de Niro, Sylvester Stallone, John Travolta, Sophia Loren, Monica Belluci, and Isabela Rosselini

Singers: Madonna, Luciano Pavarotti, and Andrea Bocelli

Artists: Michaelangelo Buonarroti, Leonardo da Vinci, and Donatello

Explorers: Christopher Columbus, and Marco Polo



Speak The Language

Good morning! = Buon giorno! (bon JOOR no)

Good evening! = Buona sera! (bo na SE ra)

Goodbye! = Ciao! (chow)

Thank you! = Grazie! (GRAT che)



W.I.T.C.H. Headquarters

Taking the world by storm, the bewitching comic book/magazine you’ve come to love was first published in Italy back in April 2001. It was created by a creative team led by Elisabetta Gnone, Alessandro Barbucci, Barbara Canepa, and Veronica Di Lisio. To date, over 300,000 copies of W.I.T.C.H. are printed and sold monthly.

Horoscope

Aries

Spunky Arian should take caution! Your daredevil ways might get you into big physical trouble. Pals look up to you, but they’ll get disappointed if you make that huge blunder mid-month.



Taurus

Your sensitivity lets you enjoy life. Every bite, sound, view, and scent you take in make you appreciate living even more! Though you feel as if nothing exciting is coming your way, count your blessings.



Gemini

A juggler by nature, you can overcome school troubles by sustaining your energy and enthusiasm till the third week. A great surprise is headed your way by the end of March!



Cancer

Bring out your brain food for long nights ahead spent studying. Accept all the help you can get from study groups and family. Focus on your studies first, so you can happily party by April!



Leo

This March, you’ve got to gie your all for your final tests. It will take a lot of sacrifice on your part, but making friends and gimmicks take the backseat will help you give 100% in school.



Virgo

It’s either a yes or no for you, no neutral or middle ground in your life. it’s either you’ll get all the thing you want (yes!) or not at all (yikes!). It’s better this way than waiting in vain for a long time.



Libra

Wear silver jewelry to ward off bad vibes. Keep your study desk at home tidy to help focus all energies to your lessons. Gracefully accept any compliments that’ll make you feel good about yourself.



Scorpio

A busy month with lots of time for work and play! Just a warning: your hectic schedule may lead to momentary sadness. But the good news is that you can expect an enjoyable, well-deserved trip.



Sagittarius

Keep a lucky stone, wallet, charm, or diary nearby. You’ll be passing through tough, zigzag roads ahead. Just remember to keep your cool to successfully leap over those bumps this month!



Capricorn

Did a hurricane hit your room? Clean your mess or Mom will ground you all summer. Start accepting responsibility right now and stop wasting time. Action is key!



Aquarius

A fashionista friend hits you hard with clothing criticisms. Don’t feel bad, she could just be telling you the truth. Ask for tips from her so you can improve and create a better you.



Pisces

Escape seems to be the constant thing in your mind these days. With so much school work, you just want to scream and leave everything behind. Stay diligent and ask for help. Turning a year older should inspire you to create a new version of you, so list down your resolutions and learn how to keep them!

$20

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"


Hands started going up.


He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill .


He then asked, "Who still wants it?"


Still the hands were up in the air.


Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"


And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.


"Now, who still wants it?"


Still the hands went into the air.


"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."


"Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.


"Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special- Don't EVER forget it."

The Rain

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.


Suddenly, my daughter spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. "Dad, I'm thinking of something."


This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.


"What are you thinking?" I asked. "The rain," she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."


After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. "That's really good, Aspen."Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation? So I asked.. "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?" Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."


I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.


In order to see the rainbow, you must first endure the rain!!!

Actual Writings from Hospital Charts

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Thank You For Your Time

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I hone stly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important... Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture... .Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone fr om the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the t hing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his finge rs slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Shoes In Church

I showered and shaved. I adjusted my tie.
I got there and sat. In a pew just in time.
Bowing my head in prayer. As I closed my eyes.
I saw the shoe of the man next to me. Touching my own. I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side. I thought, "Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine... But it didn't bother him much.
A prayer began: "Our Father..." I thought, "This man with the shoes has no pride.
They're dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse, there are holes on the side!"
"Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "Amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer....... But my thoughts were on his shoes again
Aren't we supposed to look our best when walking through that door?
"Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought, glancing toward the floor.
Then the prayer was ended and the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud. Sounding proud as he sang.
His voice lifted the rafters. His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear the shoe man's voice from the sky.
It was time for the offering. And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached into his pockets so deep.
I saw what was pulled out, what the shoe man put in.
Then I heard a soft "clink" as when silver hits tin.
The sermon really bored me to tears, and that's no lie
It was the same for the shoe man for tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service as is the custom here
We must greet new visitors and show them all good cheer.
But I felt moved somehow and wanted to meet the shoe man
So after the closing prayer I reached over and shook his hand.
He was old and his skin was dark and his hair was truly a mess
But I thanked him for coming for being our guest.
He said, "My names' Charlie. I'm glad to meet you, my friend."
There were tears in his eyes but he had a large, wide grin
"Let me explain," he said wiping tears from his eyes.
"I've been coming here for months.... And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"
"I know that my appearance is not like all the rest
"But I really do try to always look my best."
"I always clean and polish my shoes before my very long walk.
"But by the time I get here they're dirty and dusty, like chalk."
My heart filled with pain and I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize for daring to sit so near.
He said, "When I get here I know I must look a sight.
"But I thought if I could touch you then maybe our souls might unite."
I was silent for a moment knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison... I spoke from my heart, not my head.
"Oh, you've touched me," I said. "And taught me, in part;
"That the best of any man is what is found in his heart."
The rest, I thought, this shoe man will never know. Like just how thankful I really am... That his dirty old shoe touched my soul

Those who mocked God....

Make a personal reflection about this. Very interesting, read until the end.. It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:
Some years before during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple. Today we are more famous than Him." (1966)
Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for You."
He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it."
The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE:
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He is a preacher and Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT:
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
"Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, wow the highway to hell.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU."
She responded: ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT(trunk), COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL."
Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact. The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!

A Little Laughter

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.... What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

A Great Piece of History

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

The Cost Of A Miracle

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. “I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you," the pharmacist said, softening a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?"

"I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. “I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.

"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly.

"And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers."

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

"That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents .... plus the faith of a little child..

Divorce Letter

Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone. P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.

Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife

*** *** ***

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

The Little Fireman

In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of Terminal Leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.. The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dreams to come true. She took her son's hand and asked, "Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew Up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?"

Mommy, "I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up."

Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we can make your wish come true."

Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her six-year-old son A ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, "Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat-not a toy one-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast."

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven. There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the paramedic's van, and even the fire chief's car.

He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition. The chief replied, "We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? It's just the fire department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?”

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window. 16 firefighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room. With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they loved him. With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, "Chief, am I really a fireman now?"

"Billy, you are, and the Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand," the Chief said.

With those words, Billy smiled and said, "I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing..." He closed his eyes one last time.

The Parrot

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

25 Beautiful One-liners

1. Give God what's right...not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to hopeless end...God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8. When praying, don't give God instructions... just report for duty.
9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message...His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12 When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead...It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.
17. Exercise daily...walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride...he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men...you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

God And The Spider

During World War II, a US Marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire, he had lost touch with his comrades.

Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.

As he waited, he prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen." After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, "Well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one." Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.

As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave.

"Hah, he thought. "What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor."

As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on. Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while. "Lord, forgive me," prayed the young man. "I had forgotten that in you a spider's web is stronger than a brick wall."

About Women And For Women

A poem by Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
one old love she can imagine going back to... and one who reminds her how far she has come...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month... and a year...

Psalm 23

This is an eye opener... Some probably never thought nor looked at this Psalm in this way... even though they say it over and over again.

The Lord is my Shepherd - That's Relationship!
I shall not want - That's Supply
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures - That's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters - That's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul - That's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness - That's Guidance!
For His name sake - That's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - That's Testing!
I will fear no evil - That's Protection!
For Thou art with me - That's Faithfulness
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me - That's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies - That's Hope!
Thou anointest my head with oil - That's Consecration!
My cup runneth over - That's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life - That's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord - That's Security!
Forever - That's Eternity!

The One Holding The Child

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord.

One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the Dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the Dad shot himself.

The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church.

On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?"

The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them.

“For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house"

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

Piece of Cake

A little boy is telling his Grandma how everything is going wrong. School, family problems, severe health problems, etc…

Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.

She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which, of course, he does.

"Here, have some cooking oil."

"Yuck" says the boy.

"How about a couple raw eggs?"

"Gross, Grandma!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Grandma, those are all yucky!"

To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

Safety tips for Women

Refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.

After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5 . A few notes abou t getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked nex t to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP . It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door."

The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life.

Can I Borrow Some Money?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door...

Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question"
Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"
Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour?"
Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
Daddy: "I make $50 an hour"

"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down.

Looking up, he said, "Dad, may I please borrow $50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior"

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: "May be there was something he really needed to buy with that $50 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"

The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier", said the man, "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for"

The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up notes. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

When You Fall In Love (Debunking the Myths That Are Driving You Crazy)

By: Bo Sanchez
This article isn't for teenagers only.

Falling in love happens to the young and the not-so-young. (Did you see 42-year-old Tom Cruise jump up and down Oprah's couch because of Katie?)

I t happens to everyone. Fat, thin, tall, short, intelligent, uneducated, holy, not so holy, dark, white, yellow, green?it doesn't really matter.

All of us fall in love.
And we get stuck in myths that drive us absolutely crazy.

My goal is to debunk these myths and convince you not to believe in them.
Let's begin……?

MYTH 1: LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL
Let me qualify.

This is such a tricky myth. Because love ----- as defined by the Bible ------ will conquer all. But love ------ as defined by glazed-eyed lovers ----- will not.

If you believe in this myth, you might do the following:

You overlook major obstacles in your relationship.

Everyone you know is wondering why you chose that creature from outer space as your boyfriend. Your bestfriends are telling you to get rid of him. Your family is telling you to throw him out of a running vehicle. Aling Rosa of the sari-sari store across the street is telling you to lace his drink with poison.

But you won't --------- because you're in love. That's why there are songs entitled, "you and me against the world"

Your bestbuds comment, 'but he's been jobless for the past three years!"
And you say, "He's free-spirited. He feels boxed in when he's in the office. '(in other words, he's undisciplined, lazy bum.)

Your officemates say, 'He flirts with other women constantly!' and you say, 'No, he's just friendly.' (in other words, he's a pervert)

Your cousins say, 'He's taking drugs, He's got needle marks all over his arm. And you say, 'No, he's into cross stitching.'

You overstay in toxic relationships, believing that your love will change him

The wedding doesn't transform anyone.

Even if three Popes officiate the wedding.

The person you'll march with into the church will be the same person you'll march with out of the church. He doesn't change one bit.
In fact, the marriage makes the hidden more obvious.

If he was selfish before he got married, he will be even more selfish after the wedding.

If he was hypercritical before he got married, he'll even be more vile and prolific with his criticisms after wedding.

Here's the truth : You need more than feelings of love to make a relationship work.

You need mature character, total commitment and a minimum level of compatibility.

Especially compatibility in the area of values and mission in life. I hear people say,
'We're compatible. Our names begin with the same letter J. My name is Julie and his name is Julio. We're both born in July."
Wow. That's so deep, I want to cry.

MYTH 2 : WHEN IT"S TRUE LOVE YOU WILL KNOW THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE OTHER PERSON

I'm sure you've had this experience before.

You are in a crowded room. You're surrounded by boring, noisy chatter when, suddenly, this gorgeous guy enters the door.
Your eyes meet.

Instantly, time stands still. The universe grinds to a halt. Except for this attractive man in front of you, everything in your vision becomes a giant blur. The hubbub of the crowd becomes a soft muffle and, from out of nowhere, you here gentle violin music from the background.

One week later, he's your boyfriend.

A few weeks later, you discover that your boyfriend's a pathological liar, buried in credit card debt, borrows money from all his girlfriends (you're his eight in six months).

Your mind says, 'Dump him'

Your heart says, 'But it was love at first sight!'

Here are the consequences ?lt;/SPAN>

You become so focused on the magical first moment, you become blind to the dark side of the relationship.

Six out of seven days, you're fighting with your boyfriend.

But you can't give him up because you met each other in such a magical moment.

Your car keys fell and he picked it up, and then your eyes met, you smelled his deodorant, and you dropped your keys again ……How can you not be meant for each other?

You become a love-at-first-sight junkie that you could miss out on the 'real thing'.

One intelligent woman told me, 'Bo, there's this guy who's courting me. He's okay.

He's kind, he's responsible, he has a good job…….'

"I could hear a 'but' coming ," I said.
'but there are no sparks!" she bit her lip.

"No violin music playing in the background huh"
"none. When I see him, the background music I hear is lululalu-lalulalulalei?#34;

"listen. You don't need a magical first moment to meet our potential husband. The important things are mature character, financial responsibility, ability for commitment, compatible mission and values?#34;

I actually met this girl again on her wedding, and before she marched down the aisle, she whispered to me, "Do you hear the violin music, Bo? It's loud and clear."

It doesn't have to be love at first sight.

In fact, marriages with the least adjustments are those between friends who've known each other for years before they realize that they're good marriage material.

What is love at first sight?

Many times, it's lust at first sight. Or infatuation at first sight.

Don't give it too much weight.

Here's the truth: it takes a moment to experience infatuation but true love takes a lifetime.

MYTH 3 : IF IT IS TRUE LOVE YOU WILL FEEL THIS WAY FOR EACH OTHER FOREVER

No, you won't. Here are the consequences for believing this myth :

You panic when the feelings wane, and wonder whether the marriage is over and whether you really loved one another in the first place.

Imagine the night of your honeymoon.

Your new bride is sleeping. The cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze.

You gaze at her lovely face. You study her soft cheeks. Her long eyelashes. Her beautiful nose, her parted red lips.

And all of a sudden, she snores.

"Ngggggggooork"

How do you react? Because it's your honeymoon, you say, 'How cute.'

Six months down the road, the same scene transpires. Your wife is sleeping. And the same cotton curtains are gently swaying in the cool breeze.
And you hear her snore.

"Ngggggoork."

What do you say?

"Ssssssheeeesh, Honey! You sound like a boat!'

What has happened? The feelings have gone. Let me say this: 'That's normal. It happens to everyone. But it doesn't mean your love is gone so don't panic!

You can make a decision to love the snoring boat.

You start blaming your partner for the loss of love

This is nutty.

But many people do it: when we don't feel in love, we think it's the fault of the other person. And so we fight him.

Again, we fall out of love because we're human beings.

It's nobody's fault.

The moment you fall out of love, the real work begins.

Let me explain.

This is the most important point I'm going to make. (I got this from Scott Peck in his bestseller book, The Road Less traveled)

Falling in love isn't love

Here's why. When you fall in love?.
a. No decision is required. Falling in love just happens.
b. No effort is required. Falling in love is like? Well, falling.
c. No hard work is required. Falling in love is being bitten by the love bug.

On the other hand, true love requires all three : Decision, effort and lots of hard work. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen.

Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love.

When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting marriage.

MYTH 4: YOUR PARTNER WILL FULFILL YOU COMPLETELY

Again because falling in love satisfied you completely ----- you want the same satisfaction to last. No it won't.

Consequence? You might fail to recognize a good relationship because your partner isn't fulfilling the needs you should be fulfilling yourself.

Here's the truth: the right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them .

There are just some things your husband can't give you: you're self-worth. Your spirituality. Your inner happiness. These are things you have to work on your own.

I've met lots of people who think they're dissatisfied with their marriage. In reality, they're dissatisfied with themselves.

I've met lots of people who think they're bored with their marriages. And they complain to the high heavens how boring their husband or wife is ---- when in truth, they're really bored with life.

Meet your own needs. Find your happiness in God. Find your niche, your calling, your destiny. And then share your joy with your spouse.

MYTH 5 : IF IT'S TRUE LOVE YOU WON"T BE ATTRACTED TO ANYONE ELSE

If you believe in this myth, you panic when you get attracted to someone else, questioning the authenticity of your love for your spouse.

One man told me, 'Bo, I love my wife. Or I thought I did. But then I met this woman at work. She has nice make-up. She smells nice. She wears a pencil-cut skirt. When I go home, my wife is wearing a drab rag. Her hair is undone. She smells of vinegar.

Gosh I am attracted to this girl at work."

Being attracted to someone is normal ----- even if you have a happy marriage. But being attracted doesn't mean falling into adultery.

Every time you think of the other woman, discipline your heart and say, 'Home, boy,
Home!' and escort your heart back to your wife. Because if you feed your attraction with fantasies and constantly think about the other woman, it grows. But if you starve your attraction, it dies a natural death.

Best Explanation Ever

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen: A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.

They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.

"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Thanking God

Dear GOD:

I want to thank You for what you have already done.
I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards;
I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better;

I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me;
I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears

I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves;
I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet;

I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job;
I am going to thank you right now.
I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief;

I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed;
I am thanking you right now.
I am thanking you because I am alive.

I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.
I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.
I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.
I'm thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

God is just so good, and he's good all the time.

Do Not Use Your Hand Phone At Any Hospital

This mail was actually forwarded by a nurse in the Critical Care Unit of a local private hospital. Just turn off our phone next time when you are in the hospital. The person being affected may just be someone you love.

When you enter a hospital, do look out for signs that say: "NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED". You might not realize what unfortunate things can happen due to your negligence. Be considerate!

A 4 year-old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to stitch the protruding bone back in place. The girl was hooked onto a life support system during the operation. The doctors input data into the life support system before she began the surgery. The operation went well until all in a sudden the life support system went dead.

It was found out that an idiot was using his/her hand phone outside the operation Theatre. The frequency had actually affected the system. They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after due to the failure of the life support system.

Message: Be considerate. Do not use your hand phone at any hospital or places where you're told not to use it. You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing it!

Wanted To Be A Superhero?

Ever wanted to become a superhero?

Well, you now most certainly can.

What you do is you go to this URL: http://name.youaremighty.com

In place of the word NAME, put in your real name, or whatever name you go with. It could be Bob or Bill. Or Susan or Susie. Just put in your name.

And voila!

Superhero treatment.

Mr. & Mrs. Brown

A husband and wife, both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of a twelve pound nugget of gold. The editor upon hearing the seemingly extraordinary news was rather hesitant to accept it at its face value. So he sent his star reporter to interview Mr. Brown.

When the reporter came, Mr. Brown was away and his wife was alone at home. The following interesting conversation took place between the reporter and Mrs. Brown:

Reporter : Does Mr. Brown Live here?
Mrs. Brown : Oh! Yes.
Reporter : Is he in?
Mrs. Brown : Why no, he went somewhere.
Reporter : Is it true that he owns a twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : (Seeing the joke) Yes, indeed.
Reporter : Can I see the place where he found it?
Mrs. Brown : I am afraid, not because Mr. Brown objects in as much as it is strictly private.
Reporter : Is the place far?
Mrs. Brown : No, it is quite near and convenient.
Reporter : How many years has Mr. Brown been digging the hole?
Mrs. Brown : Just for about ten months.
Reporter : Is the hole deep?
Mrs. Brown : Quite so...
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown reached the bottom of it?
Mrs. Brown : Not yet, but he is coming near...
Reporter : At about what time does Mr. Brown starts digging?
Mrs. Brown : Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.
Reporter : Does he work hard on it?
Mrs. Brown : You bet. And how he perspires.
Reporter : Is Mr. Brown the first to dig?
Mrs. Brown : He thought he was...
Reporter : How do you know there was someone ahead of him?
Mrs. Brown : I am in a good position to say so, because I own the place.
Reporter : Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr. Brown?
Mrs. Brown : No, but for the present, he has the legal title to the site, with my consent.
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown any helper when he works on the claim?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, I work under him...
Reporter : When do you think Mr. Brown will sell the place?
Mrs. Brown : I think not because he enjoys working on it.
Reporter : Can I see the twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, certainly (and she showed him the twelve pound baby boy).

P.S.: The reporter has to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk

Robbie wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Robbie looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Robbie asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".

Confused, Robbie asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"

The Mother

1. When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all the night.

2. When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called.

3. When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

4. When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring the dinning room table.

5. When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by looping into the nearest pile of mud.

6. When you were 6 years old, she walked you into school. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING".

7. When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through thenext-door-neighbor window.

8. When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

9. When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice it.

10. When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

11. When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in the different row.

12. When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

13. When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

14. When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

15. When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

16. When you were 16, she taught you how to drove her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

17. When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

18. When you were 18, she cried at your school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

19. When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of you friends.

20. When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying "It's none of you business".

21. When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying "I don't want to be like you".

22. When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

23. When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friend it was ugly.

24. When you were 24, she met your fiancé and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

25. When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

26. When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked by telling her, "Things are different now."

27. When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday. You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

28. When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

29. And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did, came crashing down like thunder on your heart.

IF SHE' S STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER. AND IF SHE' S NOT,
REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

The Arab Salesman

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop waiting for fellow tourists.

An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.

"America," the husband replied.

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded,
"She's not from the States."

"'Yes, I am." said the wife.

He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?"

"Yes," she replied.

Turning to the husband, he offered, "I'll give you 100 camels for her."

The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "She's not for sale."

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how I'd get 100 camels back home."

Chinese Herbs

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.

“Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you when she dies.

“You must be very careful to act very friendly towards her.

“Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset.

She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again.

She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

Husband And Wife Stories

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: ‘Is that you, Jim?’ And that cured him.”
"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Why ?
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms."
“Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another: "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to," replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.”

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.”

World’s Economics

*TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

*INDIAN ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You worship them.

* PAKISTAN ECONOMICS*
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world

*AMERICAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

* FRENCH ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

*GERMAN ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

*BRITISH ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

*ITALIAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

*SWISS ECONOMICS *
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

*JAPANESE ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You re-design them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

*CHINESE ECONOMICS *
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

*RUSSIAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

Blonde On Train

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.

Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"

"Not really," the blonde replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."

"Poor dear," Mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"

"I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there."

Microwaved Water - See What It Does To Plants

(Note - The following info is from Ms. Nenah Sylver and found it of such importance that we are posting it hoping that the author will contact us so we can give full attribution.)

Below is a science fair project that my granddaughter did for 2006. In it she took filtered water and divided it into two parts. The first part she heated to boiling in a pan on the stove, and the second part she heated to boiling in a microwave. Then after cooling she used the water to water two identical plants to see if there would be any difference in the growth between the normal boiled water and the water boiled in a microwave. She was thinking that the structure or energy of the water may be compromised by microwave. As it turned out, even she was amazed at the difference.

I have known for years that the problem with microwaved anything is not the radiation people used to worry about, It's how it corrupts the DNA in the food so the body can not recognize it. So the body wraps it in fat cells to protect itself from the dead food or it eliminates it fast. Think of all the Mothers heating up milk in these "Safe" appliances. What about the nurse in Canada that warmed up blood for a transfusion patient and accidentally killed them when the blood went in dead. But the makers say it's safe. But proof is in the pictures of living plants dying.


FORENSIC RESEARCH DOCUMENT
Prepared By: William P. Kopp
A. R. E. C. Research Operations
TO61-7R10/10-77F05
RELEASE PRIORITY: CLASS I ROO1a

Ten Reasons to Throw out your Microwave Oven
From the conclusions of the Swiss, Russian and German scientific clinical studies, we can no longer ignore the microwave oven sitting in our kitchens. Based on this research, we will conclude this article with the following:

1). Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes long term - permanent - brain damage by "shorting out" electrical impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain tissue].

2). The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown by-products created in microwaved food.

3). Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by continually eating microwaved foods.

4). The effects of microwaved food by-products are residual [long term, permanent] within the human body.

5). Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all microwaved food is reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit, or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken down.

6). The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.

7). Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths [tumors]. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer in America.

8). The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.

9). Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.

10). Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.

Have you tossed out your microwave oven yet? After you throw out your microwave, you can use a toaster oven as a replacement. It works well for most and is nearly as quick. The use of artificial microwave transmissions for subliminal psychological control, a.k.a. "brainwashing", has also been proven. We're attempting to obtain copies of the 1970's Russian research documents and results written by Drs. Luria and Perov specifying their clinical experiments in this area.