A Blog With No Name

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.

If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.

As soon as you mention something…… if it is good, it is taken…. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engineering students---- If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

All buses are crowded. However, all buses in opposite direction always go empty.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Introduction
Modern cameras are highly automatic in operation. They have auto focus and auto exposure. The camera will focus on the subject - often identified by a small circle or square at the centre of the viewfinder - and calculate an appropriate exposure by detecting the level of reflected light - usually from the same spot. A slight pressure on the shutter release will activate those two functions, without taking a picture. Further pressure on the shutter release will result in a photo being taken.


1. Take Care To Focus And Expose On The Subject Of The Image
Imagine you are taking a picture of your girl friend against the background of an interesting harbour. Your girl friend is six feet away while the harbour is around 50 feet away. You position your girl friend carefully - she is important to you - at one side of the picture with an interesting view of the harbour in the distance. Now do you want to focus on the harbour - or your girl friend? Position the square or circle at the centre of the viewfinder over the spot that you want to focus on and correctly expose - take a slight pressure on the shutter release - and keep that pressure while you move the camera to frame the image you want to take - then, and only then, push the shutter release fully down and take the photo. If you want to have everything in focus - then see 7 Depth of Field.

2. Carefully Compose Your Shot
Before taking the picture take a careful last look through the viewfinder. Check the composition, and particularly that heads ND feet are included, and that all faces are visible in anything other the smallest of groups. With the camera taking care of focus and exposure - you have the time to concentrate on getting the composition perfect. Photographic amputation of limbs is unforgivable!

3. Set The Colour Balance Correctly On The Camera
Digital cameras have controls that allow the operator to set the nature of the lighting illuminating the subject. In general they will default to daylight, since shots are likely to be taken outdoors. On this setting, pictures taken indoors under artificial tungsten lighting will look yellow - they will have a yellow cast. Pictures taken under strip lighting will look green. Setting the camera appropriately will produce consistent balanced photographs. Look in the camera manual to see how to set the control - it is very easy. Flash guns produce a light, which is very similar in colour 'temperature' to that of daylight.

4. Don't Expect Too Much From The On Camera Flash
The on camera flash is designed for convenience when shooting a small group of people. It will not illuminate a hall. When watching public events on the television it is somewhat surprising to see members of the audience in the Albert hall take a pocket camera out and shoot a picture with their flash. This is unlikely to be successful. Better to turn the sensitivity of the camera up - say to 800ASA - the 'film speed', or sensitivity. This might produce a better result. Do not confuse sensitivity of the camera with shutter speed. They are different. An on camera flash will illuminate only a short distance - as a guide pick up your cat firmly with two hands by the tail and swing it around at arms length - that is the sort of distance the flash will illuminate!

5. A Tripod Is Essential For Long Distance Shots
Most modern digital cameras come with a zoom lens that can take both wide angle and telephoto shots. This is extremely useful. However remember that when the camera is on its furthest telephoto setting, camera shake will become a problem. If you are taking a telephoto shot and the camera chooses a slow to medium shutter speed, the result might be blurred due to the movement of your hands while taking the exposure. Use a tripod - all wildlife photographers use them. They are a pain to carry but improve quality by orders of magnitude.

6. Fast Moving Subject Require A Fast Shutter Speed
The shutter is that part of the camera which opens briefly to allow light to strike the sensitive surface of the detector to produce an image. Fast moving object require extremely short shutter speeds in order to capture a crisp sharp image. Slower shutter speeds will produce a blur as the object moves.In general outdoor photography a shutter speed of 1/60th or 1/125th second will be acceptable. In contrast, shooting a formula one car in motion will require shutter speed of say 1/1000th of a second.

7. A Little About Depth Of Field
In days past, a photographer would measure the level of light at a location with a light meter and then calculate the best combination of shutter speed and aperture to correctly expose the film. This is now done automatically by the camera. Aperture is the measure of how much light is passing through the lens. The lens has an iris, which can be 'stopped down' to reduce the amount of light passing through the lens. A fully open lens will pass the greatest amount of light - full aperture - but this also reduces the 'depth of field'. The depth of field is the band of distance over which the subject is in focus. In 1 above, with full aperture either your girl friend or the harbour is in focus - but not both. By 'stopping down' the lens - reducing the aperture - both can be brought into focus. But as a consequence the amount of light passing through the lens is reduced. The length of time which the shutter is open will have to be increased to compensate.

8. When Taking Landscapes Avoid Putting The Horizon Across The Centre Of The Image
Drawing the picture horizon in the middle of the image simply looks naff. It divides the picture in to two and fails to engage the viewer. Best to concentrate on the sky or the foreground. Photograph a setting sun with red sky, or a rainbow with the horizon low in the picture. Or concentrate on the landscape and place the horizon high in the picture.

9 Be Aware Of The Effects Of Back Lighting
Let us go back to the example given in Hint 1. Imagine that in the picture of your girl friend in front of the harbour, the sun is setting, casting its golden rays across the sea and reflecting on the masts and other metal objects of the harbour with white clouds illuminated red in the dying rays of the sun. An evocative and romantic shot. Taking the shot with the camera will result in a beautiful background but a black shadow of a girl friend! Now that might be appropriate should you have had a particularly bad day with her and it might correctly reflect the mood. However using the on camera flash to fill in the darkness - to illuminate her face and show her features might be more appropriate on a better day!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog told her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get it ten times!" The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.

"The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled. The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out," Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness-everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A wife comes home early one day and finds her husband in their bed making love to a beautiful, sexy young woman.

"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me your faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house and I want a divorce!" The husband replies, "Just wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened."

"Hmmmmm, I don't know. Well, okay, but it'll be the last thing I ever hear from you. Make it fast, you lying, cheating dog!" The husband begins to tell his story "While I was driving home, this woman stopped me and asked me for a ride. She was so young and defenseless that I went ahead and let her in the car.

“I noticed she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me she hadn't eaten in three days. With great compassion and caring I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight. The poor thing devoured them.

“Since she was very dirty, I asked her if she'd like to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and full of holes, so I threw them away. Since she then needed some clothes, I gave her a pair of jeans you've had for a few years and can no longer wear because they're too tight on you. I also gave her the blouse I gave you on our anniversary that you won't wear because you think I don't have good taste. I gave her the pullover my sister gave you for Christmas that you won't wear just to bug my sister, and I also gave her the boots you bought at that expensive boutique and have worn only once after seeing one of your co-workers wearing the same pair."

The husband continues his story...

"The young woman was very grateful to me, and as we were walking to the door she suddenly stopped and turned to me, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

The art of planting roses doesn't have to be a complicated thing to do. When you have the right knowledge there is no limit to how beautiful a garden or rosebush that you can create. In this guide, you will not only have all of the right skills at your fingertips, but you will get 101 tips that you can use to grow your very own bed of roses. With this extensive manual at hand, you will never have to buy another bouquet again. Now you will have all of the beauty and delicious fragrance that roses can give you with you all the time. Here are some of the best ideas and tips for planting your roses.

1. Check with your local gardening center or florist for the best type of roses to grow in you climate. If you are a novice, you should look for disease resistant types of roses because they require a lot less maintenance.

2. When planting roses, you want to pick a spot that is well lit in the morning. You also want an area that is sunlit for at least 6 hours a day. Roses need a great deal of light if they are to grow properly.

3. Pick an area that has plenty of well drained soil. Great soil has a PH level where the amount of acid in the soil is at about 5.5-7.0. You can get a testing kit for your soil at any garden center.

4. Organic matter like manure or lime helps to nourish the roots of your roses. You should soak the roots in water or puddle clay for many minutes, and cut off the root's ends that are broken.

5. The first 3-4 weeks after planting your roses, you should water them often. Usually this is when the top 2 inches of soil is dry. Roses need a lot of hydration and food to remain healthy.

6. Four weeks after planting, you should start soaking the bed every 2 weeks or so. You should do this in the morning for the best results.

7. Begin fertilization approximately 3 months after planting. Use 3-6 inches of mulch to control the moisture, temperature, and to stops weeds from coming up. Mulch also helps to lock in the vital nutrients your roses need in order to remain healthy.

8. Planting in the spring is the best.

9. You want to plant your roses in an area that is well circulated with air. Your roses will not grow in an enclosed or tight area.

10. Dig a hole that is two times bigger than the amount of space that your roses take up. It makes it easier to plant them and creates a spaced area for them to grow with freedom. Poor circulation for your roses can cause fungal diseases. Using a larger hole also makes it easier for you to pull them up later and pot them if you'd like.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Dearest Ms. Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Executive)

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

When you have an important event to attend there are 7 great ways to make sure you perform at your very best. These tips are relevant for social events and business meetings. Discover how to communicate with confidence while making great conversation.

1. Decide what you want to say before the event. Review it in your mind to make sure it sounds okay. Keep rehearsing it until you can say it with conviction and confidence.

2. Consider your potential listeners. Who will you be talking to and which topics of conversation will be welcome? You need to make sure your message matches your audience.

3. Be yourself. The worst mistake is to pretend you are something you are not. People will see through you and distrust everything you say. Even if you communicate clearly and with confidence.

4. Never expect things to work out perfectly. Be ready to deal with problems by deciding in advance what you will do. What will you do if people ignore your input? Now is the time to decide and not later on in the heat of the moment.

5. Be flexible in your approach. Different people need to be treated differently. Pay very close attention to how people respond to what you say and keep adjusting your approach until you have a good rapport with your listener.

6. Make the other person the focus of your attention and let him lead the conversation in the early stages. Let that person steer the conversation onto topics that are of interest to him.

7. Anticipate what could go wrong. Then do what you can to make sure those scenarios do not occur. Adequate planning is the key to performing at your best in the moment.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

ANNIVERSARIES
Always celebrate! Whether it's the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph.

APPRECIATION
Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better.

BEST FRIENDS
Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend. Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one. Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems. Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged. The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times.

BOND
Make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone w/ each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.

CHANGING EACH OTHER
Don't marry an as...le, j.... or a bi.... (an unsuitable person) You'll never change each other.

COMPLIMENTS
Always compliment each other. This will prevent feelings of resentment & thinking that one is being taken for granted.

DATE
Keep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together. Make time & continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction.

DIFFERENCES
Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other's throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them.

FIGHTS
Fight w/the aim to resolve the issue. Don't outdo each other. The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you'll say something hurtful that you don't really mean. As mad as you were w/ your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you're hot.
Hear each other out, don't dig up old issues. Choose your battles. Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight.

FLAWS
Know that the perfect person does not exist. Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws.

FUN
Have fun together! This means keeping the fun & spontaneity that was there in the early days.
Allow yourselves to get silly - shower together, pee w/the door open etc. Being able to make each other laugh & see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints.

GOALS
Make sure you have similar goals. It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite.

GRUDGES
Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don't recycle it.

KEEPING IT HOT
Keep it hot by traveling to diff. places together. A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing.

HONESTY
Don't lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger.

KNOW EACH OTHER
Learn each other's interest. It really keeps the conversation flowing!

HUG
A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss.

IDENTITY
Don't lose your personality - that's why he/she fell in love w/you. Have separate interest & activities to keep your individual, & to be able to contribute more to the relationship.

INDEPENDENCE
Having your own income means you're the boss in your life.

IN-LAWS
Make rooms for the in-laws.

INTENTIONS
Wish each other well. Don't wish each other worst

ISSUES
Speak up about the awkward stuff now,like money & sex. The earlier, the better.

LISTEN
Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments.

LOOK GOOD
Mind your appearance! Stay fit & healthy for each other.

LOVE
It all boils down to your love, chemistry & respect for each other.

MEMORIES
Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before. It may even be corny but it made you two together. Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places. It's the little surprises that make great memories.

MIND READING
No matter how long you've been together, do not think that you can read each other's mind.

NEEDS
Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That's what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other's feelings.
Be very attentive & sensitive to each other's needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you. Never take your partner for granted.

PRIORITIES
If one says it's important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!

SPACE
Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy's night out. If you can't trust each other with this, then don't get married.

SORRY
Say sorry when you're wrong.

SURPRISES
No matter how long you've known each other, be open to surprises, both good or bad.

TEAMWORK
Think for two & always work as a team. Consult each other before making a decision because everything will always affect both of you. Strengthen couple power. In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favor of our individual selves.

SUPPORT
Support each other's dream. Be willing to follow your passions, support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together. Two heads are better than one.

TALK
Tell each other's stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart. Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life, even by email if you have to.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You are rather materialistic and it is fuelled by your fears of financial disaster. This makes you complain about monetary woes, irritating many with your obnoxious attitude. You can also be a social climber, manipulating your way up the ladder; name-dropping all the way to the top. Once in a while, you'll have morbid thoughts about Death something that scares you because you have no control over it. You tend to be Obsessive about your mortality sometimes.
Advice: Stop worrying about losing money, and you'd rid yourself of unfounded nightmares. Stop manipulating others and you'll be free to concentrate on attaining your goals. Get rid of your phobias and you'll be able to relax more and enjoy yourself.


Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You tend to be too idealistic and naive sometimes. Practicality gets thrown out of the window by you many times. Cool and aloof, you rarely want to deal with deep emotions. You like to give advice but don't like to receive it. And ideas and inspirations that you sometimes neglect or follow through with them are constantly bombarding you. Or else you are constantly shifting focus, giving people the idea with no staying power.
Advice: Take time to explore your private feelings. Not all people see things your way. And just because you come up with ideas, don't expect other people to do all the work for you. Learn to trust people and accept advice.


Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You are an escapist - you have this knack of avoiding issues if they seem unpleasant. You delve into past memories to escape your present woes. There is also a tendency towards alcoholism and even drug abuse you are on a search for some kind of 'high'. You also love to flirt and too much of it may send the wrong, dangerous signals out to other people. Once in a while, a dark mood will descend on you and you become rather unsociable and withdrawn. Advice: Trust your instincts, but also be in control of your perceptions. Whenever the escapist tendency hits you, join a seminar or get a pep talk from a friend to get your perspective right.


Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
A warrior at heart, you thrive on challenges and any strife and dramas, you are tempted to stir things up, just to keep yourself happy. You are also rather intolerant of mistakes and don't have patience for weakness or failings in others. And sometimes, you can be quite a snob as well and you like to be seen at the right places or wear the right clothes. And you're also prone to bossiness. Your restless nature may make you quit a project suddenly if you can't sustain the interest.
Advice: Get off your high horse and pay your dues before people will accept you. Learn to be more tolerant of others and try to see the other person's side of the story. If you believe in what you do, you can move mountains.


Taurus (Apr 21 - May 20)
You are stubborn and like to hold onto things, not wanting to let go of anything or anyone. You are slow to anger, but when you do get worked up to a rage - everyone step aside! You also have a selfish streak and can be quite sneaky as well. And although people may see you as helpful and agreeable, you sometimes have an inner struggle wanting the approval of others while sticking to your own opinions. You also tend to be suspicious of others and question their motives.
Advice: Stop being mean and try to be nice. Learn to forgive and let go of your past disappointments. Learn from your mistakes and have faith in yourself and others as well.


Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
Your devil-may-care attitude sometimes could bring harm to yourself - You tend to live on the edge sometimes. Many of you believe that you don’t deserve success, somehow feeling guilty for it. You may give others too much of yourself sometimes that you lose yourself. You may be prone to suppressing motions as well. And at times that makes it difficult for you to accept affection and love.
Advice: Work at listening to others and don't be tempted to try daring devil stunts all the time. And try doing something for yourself and once in a while, in between, doing favours for others. You're human, after all.


Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
You can get carried away with emotions - your anger is overwhelming and your sadness can depress all those around you. You're also ultra-sensitive to other people's emotions and are affected by these as well. You tend to react before you think and then brood about what you may have done or said wrong. You are also prone to periods of morbidity, thinking dark thoughts. Feelings of insecurity creep in now and then, making you snappish or Else you try to win the approval of everyone at your expense.
Advice: Accept that you are hypersensitive to emotions and work with yours. Go with the flow and by doing the right thing, you set an example for others. Work with others and this will help build your confidence and open you up.


Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
On the rare occasion you lose your temper, you can turn into a savage beast. You seem to need an audience as well, to help boost your confidence and ego, sometimes. Other times, you get caught up in the outward dramas of your life that you neglect what you're feeling inside. This results in a delayed reaction when emotions sneak up on you and you get hit with a whammy. You also tend to be proud and aggressive, cloaking these with your charm. When things don't go your way, you get impatient and may even throw a tantrum.
Advice: Learn to spend some time alone with yourself and get to know yourself better. And learn to experience your emotions at the moment; don't store them up for another time. And know that not all means justify the ends.


Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You have a martyr complex, feeling that you were put on this earth to Do good work and not receive any credit for it. You tend to be ultra Critical of yourself and others and you also worry about things that are beyond your control. A little pessimistic sometimes, you tend to be an Intellectual snob. You bottle up all your insecurities and fears, and hesitate to reach out for help. And once in a while, you become a busybody that's when you also feel responsible for other people's problems.
Advice: Modesty has its own limits - take credit for your efforts. Give yourself a break and know that you do not have to be successful in everything you do. Keep focused and don't get tangled in other people's affairs too often.


Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 23)
Your inability to reach a decision in matters of personal action is legendary. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expand energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally.
Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them - stop sitting on fences. Don't blindly trust people; learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.


Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 21)
You have a revengeful streak and a long memory for past hurts. Sometimes you're downright spiteful. When you suffer, you make sure others Suffer along with you. Sometimes, you may even use deception to get what you want and to influence others to stay out of your way. You may even believe these untruths and unrealistic fears will grow on you. Once in a while, you may come across someone that just rubs you on the wrong side for no apparent reason and you make it your mission to bury him or her.
Advice: Flight the negative emotions that arise in you, and resentment will not sour your life. Don't' give into temptation to tell lies, learn to conquer your strong tendency towards revenge and things will fall into place for you.


Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
You've got a big mouth and unwittingly hurt an insult people with it. You can even go to utter strangers and give unsolicited advice and comments. You also seem to enjoy verbal duels with others whenever you can. And you sure can make sore losers, even suspecting foul play if things don't go your way. You have a knack for confrontation and you can't resist being sarcastic. You also don't think too much of many people, because you have mild superiority complex. Vanity is also a trait in many of you.
Advice: Learn with whom you can be frank otherwise keep your comments to yourself. Discretion is the better part of valour. Curb your cockiness, and you can combine it with your concern for serious issues, aiding in your search for truth.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

These are from actual resumes:
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."


Qualifications:
“I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often.”

“Children: Various."


Resume Bloopers:
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."


Reasons For Leaving The Last Job:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."


Job Responsibilities:
"While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility."


Special Requests & Job Objectives:
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."


Physical Disabilities:
"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."


Personal Interests:
"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."


Small Typos That Can Change The Meaning:
"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.

"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy! So you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

“Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.”

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Better watch out for the last part of the whole Harry Potter Series. J.K. Rowling, the author of this popular series, says that two characters would be dying. And she even hints that maybe even Harry Potter himself would not live.

Rowling says, “I have never been tempted to kill him off before the final because I’ve always planned seven books, and I want to finish on seven books.

"I can completely understand, however, the mentality of an author who thinks, `Well, I'm gonna kill them off because that means there can be no non-author-written sequels. So it will end with me, and after I'm dead and gone they won't be able to bring back the character'."

"The last book is not finished. But I'm well into it now. I wrote the final chapter in something like 1990, so I've known exactly how the series is going to end.

"The final chapter is hidden away, although it's now changed very slightly. One character got a reprieve. But I have to say two die that I didn't intend to die," she said. "A price has to be paid. We are dealing with pure evil here. They don't target extras do they? They go for the main characters. Well, I do.

"I don't think I'm ever going to have anything like Harry again. You just get one like Harry."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

How many people have it?
O + 40 %
O - 7 %
A + 34 %
A - 6 %
B + 8 %
B - 1 %
AB + 3 %
AB - 1 %

Does Your Blood Type Reveal Your Personality?
According to a Japanese institute that does research on blood types, there are certain personality traits that seem to match up with certain blood types. How do you rate?

TYPE O You want to be a leader, and when you see something you want, you keep striving until you achieve your goal. You are a trend-setter, loyal, passionate, and self-confident. Your weaknesses include vanity and jealously and a tendency to be too competitive.

TYPE A You like harmony, peace and organization. You work well with others, and are sensitive, patient and affectionate. Among your weaknesses are stubbornness and an inability to relax.

TYPE B You're a rugged individualist, who's straightforward and likes to do things your own way. Creative and flexible, you adapt easily to any situation. But your insistence on being independent can sometimes go too far and become a weakne ss.

TYPE AB Cool and controlled, you're generally well liked and always put people at ease. You're a natural entertainer who's tactful and fair. But you're standoffish, blunt, and have difficulty making decisions.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant, and he got it. His salary was really good and so were the working conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to fell the trees. The first day, the woodcutter brought down 15 trees.

"Congratulations," the boss said. "Carry on with your work!"

Highly motivated by the words of his boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 10 trees down. The third day he tried even harder, but he was only able to bring down 7 trees.

Day after day he was bringing lesser number of trees down.

"I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on.

"When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked.

"Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."

That's right. Most of us NEVER update our skills. We think that whatever we have learned is very much enough. But good is not good when better is expected. Sharpening our skills from time to time is the key to success.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.

You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on . You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .

Your greatest need is to talk . If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find . You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. Yo! u are a perfectionist , hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.

You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped . You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression . You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of! your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.

You are secretive , self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game , and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on . You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".

You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.

You are emotional and intense . When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom . You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness , which must be kept in check.

You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count . Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes . You are relatively free of hang- ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy . It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual . You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best . You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue . You could get jealous and possessive. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert . You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.

You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music , soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt . You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great thing! s. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life.

You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love . When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.

You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.

You are very proud , determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.

You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly . You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.

You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing . You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.

You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON you get three meals a day (free).
AT WORK you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.

IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share.

IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park.

Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad.

Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by.

She never tried to speak.

She never said a word.

Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.

The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there.

Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.

Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl.

For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone.

As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress.

It was grotesquely shaped.

I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.

Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different.

As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare.

As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly.

She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form.

I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk.

I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello."

The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi "; after a long stare into my eyes.

I smiled and she shyly smiled back.

We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty.

I asked the girl why she was so sad.

The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because, I'm different."

I immediately said, "That you are!"; and smiled.

The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."

"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent."

She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?"

"Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all the people walking by."

She nodded her head yes, and smiled.

With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am."

"I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye.

I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.

She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done".

I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?"

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me," and then she was gone.

And with that, my life was changed dramatically.

So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever. This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX, translated by SaFe).

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intention of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young.

Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out.

Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it. We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs.

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I trushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby didn't say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...

In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother. Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him.

And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe.

I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.

The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly,but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me.

Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, you are pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."

He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.

Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scares in each other's heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not be repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.

From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read.

Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.

He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brown, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite.

Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.

Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.

I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer?

Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no long has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang thought the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Bill Gates passes away and goes up to heaven where he is met by God.

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows.

"I'm going to do something I've never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go."

Bill replied, "Well thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure" said Bill, "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.

"This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."

God replied, "Let's go!" and so off they went to Heaven. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.

It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Bill Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill Gates shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God.

Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh THAT?!" said God.

"That was the Screen Saver."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Is your birthday day 1 of the month?
Your Life
You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to, be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.
Your Love
You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.

Is your birthday day 2 of the month?
Your Life
You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem.
Your Love
Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.

Is your birthday day 3 of the month?
Your Life
Although you are innocent and romantic but your expression often mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are careful and patient.
Your Love
Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the track your parents disagree .

Is your birthday day 4 of the month?
Your Life
You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly.
Your Love
Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.

Is your birthday day 5 of the month?
Your Life
Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.
Your Love
Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes your jealousy becomes worse.

Is your birthday day 6 of the month?
Your Life
You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others.. Your imagination is extremely unique.
Your Love
Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship.Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.

Is your birthday day 7 of the month?
Your Life
You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your extreme persistence.
Your Love
You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often progress quickly.

Is your birthday day 8 of the month?
Your Life
You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.
Your Love
Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

Is your birthday day 9 of the month?
your Life
You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.
Your Love
You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children. You Will be Happy Always with u r Love Marraige. and she

Is your birthday day 10 of the month?
Your Life
You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in implementing your imagination and share it with others. You are always well dressed.
Your Love
You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your relationship.

Is your birthday day 11 of the month?
Your Life
You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person.
Your Love
You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to hand around the one you love.

Is your birthday day 12 of the month?
Your Life
You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.
Your Love
You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.

Is your birthday day 13 of the month?
Your Life
You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around although you are sometimes too straightforward.
Your Love
Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person. Eventhough you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are, especially in the eyes of opposite sex.

Is your birthday day 14 of the month?
Your Life
You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across.
Your Love
You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no getting back.

Is your birthday day 15 of the month?
Your Life
You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your temper shows.
Your Love
You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.

Is your birthday day 16 of the month?
Your Life
You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make your dream comes true.
Your Love
You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.

Is your birthday day 17 of the month?
Your Life
You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense. Your Love
Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great. You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.

Is your birthday day 18 of the month?
Your Life
At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.
Your Love
You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

Is your birthday day 19 of the month?
Your Life
You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your own life.
Your Love
You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.

Is your birthday day 20 of the month?
Your Life
You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than anything else.
Your Love
You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown relationship.

Is your birthday day 21 of the month?
Your Life
You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.
Your Love
You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your heart.

Is your birthday day 22 of the month?
Your Life
You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.
Your Love
You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't let them get away without having hard time.

Is your birthday day 23 of the month?
Your Life
You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends count on.
Your Love
Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not realize it.

Is your birthday day 24 of the month?
Your Life
You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their heart out.
Your Love
Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and romantic.

Is your birthday day 25 of the month?
Your Life
You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will eventually bring you success.
Your Love
You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential to get married young.

Is your birthday day 26 of the month?
Your Life
You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Travelling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after.
Your Love
You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.

Is your birthday day 27 of the month?
Your Life
You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind loving person.
Your Love
You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may be. You are emanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.

Is your birthday day 28 of the month?
Your Life
You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever.
Your Love
You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before seeing any progress in love.

Is your birthday day 29 of the month?
Your Life
You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you.
Your Love
You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.

Is your birthday day 30 of the month?
Your Life
You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.
Your Love
You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.

Is your birthday day 31 of the month?
Your Life
Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand you. You tend to take things seriously.
Your Love
You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress, even your partner.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

This is an interesting riddle. Try to solve it on your own.

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.

Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

But to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.

Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly.

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time?

Try to solve it yourself. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical.

If necessary read the puzzle once again.

.
. .
. . .
. . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.

Wanna know the answer?

Answer:

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity?

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

.
. .
. . .
. . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.

Answers?

They are all TRUE.... Now go back and think about #16!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

*****

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."

*****

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

*****

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

*****

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't empty."

*****

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Try to solve these.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three Rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of the water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph:
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

.
. .
. . .
. . . .
. . . . .
. . . .
. . .
. .
.

Answers:

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly Neologism Contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

This year's winners are:

1. Coffee (n), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddisisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

( FART ) and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and Make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 Added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Flickr (for the photo enthusiast)
Flickr is the largest photo sharing community today, popularizing two online image innovations: tags and notes. “Tagging” allows you to link your pictures to a set of words, sort of like creating a search engine for anyone’s photos. This was readily apparent during the terrorist attack on London’s subway system: the rest of the world first saw it through the lenses of London witnesses who quickly uploaded the pictures they took with their mobile phone cameras. Flickr-logged people tag-searched “London” or “attack” and saw what was happening unfold ahead of the news networks. The “Notes” tool on the site allows users to leave pop-up notes directly on the image, creating an added layer of storytelling. A simple landscape picture of a white sand beach can now be immortalized with a note on the shore declaring, “Had my first kiss here.”

Hello (for private screenings)
Consider it basically the opposite of Flickr: Instead of wide open, cross continental sharing and coverage, Hello emphasizes one-on-one intimacy and privacy. Since photo sharing is fixed to one or two people as opposed to anyone with an Internet connection, there is minimal lag time. Hello takes advantage of this by integrating its own instant messaging function, making it possible to chat and send photos in real time.

Smugmug (for the pro)
Smugmug carries over a lot of the basic features found on Flickr and sets itself apart by offering a so-called “Pro Zone”, focusing on the unique needs of the professional photographer. Enrolled users can customize the design template/theme and layout of the page, making it possible to create a more individualized, gallery-like online exhibit. Taking it one step further, the people behind Smugmug also make it possible for a user to convert the page into an online photography store by accepting and managing online transactions, printing availability and handling the logistics of shipping. Smugmug will even help with marketing research, sending detailed reports of which photos were most viewed, profits earned per size of each photo and sales.

Photobucket (for the blogger)
This site is essentially a useful photo storage tool for the more tech-savvy user (which you are if you’re familiar with HTML code) who can create multimedia sites or blogs with basic images, slide show presentations, and streaming videos. Photobucket owes its success to its role as a key service integrated with , a social networking site frequently referred to as this generation’s MTV.

Snapfish and York Photo (for the good old photo album)
If you want to have your digital photographs printed, Snapfish (owned by Hewlett Packard) and York Photo provide the services that will get the most color-bursting bang for your buck. These two services are highly rated for price, quality, and range of products that you can print the photos on – shirts, toys, bags, mugs, and underwear.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

# posted by Jessica : 9:31:00 PM  0 comments links to this post

1. Choose a product that works best for your skin. Do not buy just because it is famous or expensive.

2. Use foundation only when needed. But if you are exposed to dirt and pollution, it is better t okeep the skin covered. You can try massaging a bit of sunblock or dermatologist-prescribed creams. These creams work better and are safer to use as a make up base. You can pat on the usual face powder when needed.

3. Water-based or powder foundations are still the best for daily use. While they may require frequent retouch applications, they nevertheless do not clog the pores as much as cream-based concealers and foundations.

4. Nothing opens up a face more than good blush. Peach-colored blush works best any time of the day for any skin type.

5. Eyebrows define a face. Unwanted eyebrow hairs strands are as much a sad sight as dirty, unkept nails.

6. Light brown eyebrow pencil works best for Asian eyebrows as well as a top eyelid liner. Simply line eyes there, then smudge. This gives an instant sultry look.

7. Let fo of purplish- and brownish-toned lipsticks. They automatically add years to anyone’s face. Rose-tinted lipsticks work best for everyone.

8. Never invest in multicolored eye shadow palettes. Those cute, affordable Korean or Japanese ones work just as well for one-time experimental use.

9. Before anything else, exfoliate the face to reveal new skin that will be easy to work with.

10. A moisturizer or a base primer with a luminizing effect may be applied to achieve an instant glow.

11. Use sheer foundation to even out your skin tone. Apply it evenly and lightly, concentratin under the eyes and the side of the nose. Blend with upward strokes. Triangular wedge sponges are ideal to reach even the creases.

12. Use a hard and ash-blond brow pencil to fill in your brows. Ash-blonde looks more natural than any other color. Apply it with feathery strokes then brush to soften the edges.

13. Use liquid eyeliner with a fine, felt-tip brush for a very black and precise line.

14. A good eyelash curler can help open up the eyes. It should have a bouncy rubber to hold up and release the lashes being curled. Start where the lash roots are, then curl them upwards.

15. Bronzers are also good for medium-toned skin, to warm the face and create a sexy look.

16. A natural-toned lip liner is best and safe to use to balance out any look. It should be applied evenly unto the entire lip area for a more lasting effect, and to prevent lip color from bleeding.

17. Don’t be scared to experiment and try out new things.

18. Be aware of the lifespan of your makeup. Change mascara every six months because bacteria breeds fast because of the moisture. Lipstick lasts for one to two years. Powder, eye shadow and blush lasts for two years. The rule of the thumb is, if it smells weird, throw it out.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Here is the Case:

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.

Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr Mills continued, "A person, who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide." That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun.

The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B".

When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed hat the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A group of working adults got together to visit their Alma-mater. Their University lecturer was very happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.

The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves.

When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."

"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the very essence of Life doesn't change."

"If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy the taste of the water in it."

-Mother Teresa

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Very important: The danger of mobile (cell) phones.

Vladimir Lagovski and Andrei Moiseynko from Komsomolskaya Pravda Newspaper in Moscow decided to learn first-hand how harmful cell phones are. There is no magic in cooking with your cell phone. The secret is in the radio waves that the cell phone radiates.

The journalists created a simple microwave structure as shown in the picture. They called from one cell phone to the other and left both phones on talking mode. They placed a tape recorder next to phones to imitate sounds of speaking so the phones would stay on.

After, 15 minutes: The egg became slightly warm.

25 minutes: The egg became very warm.

40 minutes: The egg became very hot.

65 minutes: The egg was cooked.

Conclusion 1: Cooking eggs with mobile phones is possible but very expensive ($4.55 or 123 Rubles)

Conclusion 2: All this talk of danger is exaggerated; even if your brain gets cooked, it would take a couple hours of talking on a cell phone.

Conclusion 3: We do not recommend carrying cell phone in your pants.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.”

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the chequebook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said?

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again?
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound?
6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home?

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkups.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've got a twenty-year-old bride who's pregnant & is about to deliver a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly he spots a lion in some bush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

“BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."

“That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. “Someone else must have shot that lion.”

"Exactly," said the Doc.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A Florida couple, both well into their 70's, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse."

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

CSA: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?
Caller: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....

Clmt: (clmt was keyspelling his current location....)
CSA: okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS?"

client: my address is 459 quintin drive...
agent: sir, is that Q for cucumber?


these are some of the boo-boo's collected from the floor:
1. Sir, kindly state your first and last name starting off with your area code?

2. Sir, do you happen to remember your first name, please?

3. Agent: So how long the camera?

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

5. Customer: So what do I do now?
Agent: Click on the OK button, and now let's keep our fingers crossed....

6. Customer: So are you a boy or a girl?
Agent: Well, let's just say a little bit of both....(Nyah!)

7. Sir, let us not tamper with the Safe mode. It was placed there for a purpose!

8. Customer: Mr. Stanley just stepped out of the house. This is his wife.
Agent: Can you ask him to step back in again, ma'am?

9. Customer: So do I turn the camera over?
Agent: Yes, sir. You would have to turn yourself over. Right, Sir.

agent: I'm sorry but this is the only department that handles the calls of our customers.
customer: and what department are you?
agent: call center
customer: a what?!!

agent: will that be all ma'am?
customer: Oo. Ay opo! ay...um sorry, i came from a different country kasi..ay!! I'm really sorry please bear with me(and then started to laugh).

tech support: ok sir, can u pls type cmd on the run field
client: what?!!!
tech support: cmd sir
client: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!
tech support: ok!!! c as in CLIENT, m as in MUST and d as in DIE

Agent: Ma'am, Is that C as in Scissors?

Agent: Sir, Is that Y as in Wyoming?
American caller: U sure, coz the last time I checked Wyoming starts w/ a W

ME : May I have the service tag please?
Chinese/Korean Customer : Ok the service tag is 1-B-S-R-"Yi"
ME : Ok. So That's number 1. And then B as in Bravo. S as in Sierra. R as in Romeo and is the last character a number three?
Customer : No! No! That is Letter Yi!
ME : Uhh .. ok. Is that a Letter C? As in Charlie? Or Cat?
Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! Like Yu! Yu!
ME : Letter T? Like Tree? Or Two??
Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! YI!!!! Like Yu! You know, with the animals!
ME : OHHHHH!!! A LETTER Z!!! AS IN ZOO! With the animals!!
Customer : YES YES!! You got it!
HAHAHAHAHAHA and that took around 5 minutes.

customer: your name is what?
cca: my name is bruce, how may I help you?
customer: say what now?
cca: ma'm bruce B- as in (george w. bush!)
customer: ok bush

customer: hi bush I' m calling about disconnecting my service
cca: ma'm let me help you with that
customer: say what now?
cca: let me assit you ma'm
customer:let me talk to someone else I don't understand your accent
cca: Certainly ma'm pls dial the same number and listen to the voice prompt and press the option for our department, thank you for calling ***energy we appreciate your business.

CX: So, what's your ethnic origin
TS: I'm an asian...
CX: Oh... in Asia. Well, Kung Hei Fat Choi!

CSA: Thank you for calling... this is Candy how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CSA: No sir it's candy...
Cust: Sorry can't hear did u say Mandy?
CSA: No sir.. candy sir ...candy as in Storck!
Cust: What? you're a strange girl Mandy...

Rep: OK Katie, may I call you Katie?
Caller: Well, OK. But the name's Michelle!

Rep: Alright, let me verify that. Was that a "G" as in golf?
Caller: NO! That was a "G" as in GIBRA!

CSR: So, you want to reset your password? Is this correct?
Cust: Yes.
CSR: Would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a generic password.
Cust: Uhmm.. just give me a generic one.
CSR: Alright. I have reset your password. Your new password will be... let me spell it out for you. That's K as in Kilo ... A as in apple....M as in mama.... O as in October..... T as in tango.... and E as in Echo
Cust: "Kamowt?" That's a cool password. I'll never forget this. All right. Everything is working.

me: mam please look at the back of your modem and check if you have the ethernet cord connected.
cus (ms fordham): the what? (with alabama accent)
me: yung yellow cord

Me: Thank you for calling (ACCOUNT - technical support), this is ******. How may I help you?
Cust: Dammit, I gotta cyst in my testicles!

tech troubleshooting a pc
tech: sir can we make sure all the windows are closed
cust: ok, can i put the phone down?
tech: sure sir..

cust: ok i've closed all the windows in my house... what's next?

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

# posted by Jessica : 9:30:00 PM  0 comments links to this post

Husband & Wife - Why divorce?
In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband." "But why?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know?" She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy
From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy!" "Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Husband & Wife - Why?
"Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. "Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

Husband & Wife - Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

Husband & Wife - Talk About Husband
One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

Husband & Wife - Love To Do
A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

Husband & Wife - No Answer Back
A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.

Husband & Wife - Come Home Late
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him. "Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Husband & Wife - Problem Father
"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied, "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is why you're really here? What if I told you the real purpose of your life is to enjoy it? Therefore your destiny is simply to have a happy life. I know that sounds like a fairy tale, and unless you're a Disney princess, it seems impossible, but if you watch any TV these days, you know anything is possible with the right makeover. A happiness makeover, however, is a little different than the extreme TV makeovers because it involves not only the physical but the emotional and spiritual parts of you as well. Physical well-being is anything that improves the physical: your body, your surroundings. It's what you can see. Emotional well-being is anything that makes you feel good inside. And spiritual well-being is anything that connects you with your true self ‑- your inner goddess. Here are three easy ways to improve these areas of your life so that you can get well on your way to achieving a happier new you:

Respect your body and your environment
The environment you live and work within your home, your car, your office, your backyard is a reflection of you. Fill these places with things you love to look at, like art or flowers; things you love to use, such as a CD player or colored markers; or things you love to be reminded of, like pictures of loved ones. At the same time, keep these places spacious and neat so that positive energy can always flow around and to you. This is one of the basic principles of feng shui. Besides that, you'll just feel more in control and clear-headed without so much clutter to distract you.

You must also remember to take care of your body. Honor it with nutritious food and exercise. Make exercise an integral part of your everyday life. This doesn't have to be a regimented program. It could be as simple as running up the stairs in your house instead of walking or gardening or playing with your kids outside. Think of exercise as a little extra movement you incorporate into your daily schedule. If you have time for a regular class, make sure to pick something you love to do. If you need motivation, team up with a friend, partner or personal trainer.

Nurture your feelings
Your feelings are part of who you are and you must acknowledge and feed them. This means not burying your negative emotions in an attempt to be happy. They'll only stir more deeply and longer if you don't accept them. You need to see them in order to release them. This also means doing things that make you feel good, inside and out. Maybe it's spending time with people you love, dancing, talking over your problems with a friend or even eating your favorite chocolate ice cream. Sometimes you need to do something totally indulgent to feel good, and that's perfectly okay once in a while. Give yourself permission to indulge in whatever it is that makes you happy. You must believe that you're worth it, whether it's time, money or calories. Do it completely guilt-free, knowing that the benefits of nurturing your innermost passions will make you a happier, giving and loving person.

Connect with your inner goddess
We've all heard the phrase "women's intuition," but what is it really and how can that make you happier? Intuition is that little voice inside of you that tells you things like "take that job," "stay away from that guy" or "go this way." It can save you time, or in some cases, save your life either of which should make you happier. Intuition gives you information without your having to think about it. It allows you to just "know." Unfortunately, in our modern society, we don't learn how to develop our intuition, and we lose it like a muscle in atrophy.

There are a number of ways to connect with your inner goddess the easiest being some kind of meditative practice. Meditation could be different for everyone. Not all of us like to sit cross-legged on the floor while burning incense and chanting. Meditation can be as simple as taking a walk through the park, inhaling and exhaling deeply or listening to soothing music. It's anything that helps quiet your mind, opening a space for you to connect with your inner voice.
Focusing on and nurturing all three parts of yourself the physical, emotional and spiritual will make you look and feel much healthier and happier. So go ahead and break open that box of chocolate truffles. Just remember to take a nice long walk.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom-don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they "want fries with that?"

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

14. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"

15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives-they're loose!"

16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

[1] If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

[2] If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

[3] The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

[4] A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

[5] A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

[6] Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

[7] The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

[8] The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

[9] The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

[10] Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

[11] Butterflies taste with their feet.

[12] The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue

[13] Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

[14] Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

[15] A cat's urine glows under a black light.

[16] An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

[17] Starfish have no brains.

[18] Polar bears are left-handed.

[19] Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Water Bearer
* House : Eleventh House
* Ruling Planet : Saturn / Uranus
* Gemstone : Blue Sapphire
* Element : Air
* Most compatible with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* Can be good with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* A 50-50 chance with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer
* Doubtful with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Aquarius Personality
You seem to live on a different plane altogether - sympathetic, sensitive, friendly, but distant. It is very difficult for you to become very involved with anyone or anything. You are very conscious and value your personal space, this tends to bring about a certain loneliness, although you have a whole lot of friends who hold you in high regard. You tend to be philosophical and have strong intuitive powers. You are an admirer of beauty and everything about you seems soft and gentle. You are unconventional and like to be original, something that results in bizarre and unpredictable behaviour. You like to broaden your horizons of knowledge and are always ready to think beyond the present. Having an analytical mind, you are particularly drawn towards science. You are not easily agitated and are patient and persevering. Aquarians hold strong beliefs and it is not easy to change their minds or opinions. However, in matters of religion, they are not fanatics. They accept the idea of universal brotherhood and are mostly modern in their outlook.

Aquarius Lover
You will allow very few people to encroach on your personal space. The lucky ones who you allow intimacy,will however find you fascinating and quite enchanting. Those you fall in love with will most likely share your artistic and intellectual interests. Once in love, you will try to make everything perfect for your partner. You will accommodate, compromise and adapt even if you find that person is not exactly the ideal match you imagined him or her to be. Besides Aquarians, you are best suited to marry those born under Gemini and Libra. Your fondness for travel will find you settling down some place far from where you spent your childhood. You are a home-loving person, having a penchant for cooking and other domestic activities, collecting spices and trying out various recipes are often your pastime pleasures. Your approach to love and marriage is logical and intellectual, loving with your mind, as well as your eyes. You treat children with respect and give due consideration to their views.

Aquarius Professional
You are not overly worried about money. Your savings will mostly go towards charity, travelling or simply to buy a place, which will enable you to get away from the rough and tumble of city life. You should, however, be careful about money, as you are apt to suffer serious losses. Aquarians do well in artistic pursuits. Many of them turn out to be brilliant scientists and physicians. Law is another field Aquarians can pursue without serious difficulties.

Aquarius Teens
If the idea is radical, it must be an Aquarian idea. She seems to be game for anything; the rebel in her makes her unique. She has the guts to take on society; on her own terms. She doesn't care for much small talk; the Aquarian will have lots of acquaintances but hardly any good friends. She's good with style and fashion; trust her to spring an original on you. For an evening out, she will never opt for a sentimental movie; she is likely to enjoy an experimental theatre performance in the dark! Even when she studies, she builds an unconvential environment around herself. The Aquarian girl is not for everyone, but then she doesn't want to be either!

The Aquarius boy generally keeps to himself. He has a lot of creativity within him and needs space to do his 'work'. He is not into sentimentalising and don't be surprised if he doesn't remember birthdays. A display of affection is not for him. But you can expect the unexpected. The Aquarius lad loves the company of someone who can keep up with him. He loves sophisticated gadgets, and don't be surprised if this techno youth ends up creating a software that leads to big success. Knowing an Aquarian will be a unique experience full of little adventures.

Aquarius Kids
Fiercely independent and free spirited, the Aquarian child can be a little deviant, but then that is part of the charm. Being the creative sort, this child will be one of the first to master the newest technologies and create wonders. This kid will do extremely well at school and being intellectually inclined, will need to be surrounded by plenty of books. The Aquarian kid, in spite of enjoying the company of friends, will still have his or her own way of doing things and is difficult to rein in.

Aquarius Well Being
Though, members of this sign are prone to infections, most suffer from poor circulation, sore throats and, cramps in the lower limbs. Unless they catch the sport bug at an early age, most Aquarians have to be pushed to take some sort of exercise; brisk walks and cycling are good ways for Aquarians to keep fit. As you like traveling, you generally have no trouble relaxing, especially when given a good book to read, although you'll never be a couch potato a little extra effort would not go amiss. High cheekbones or a finely chiseled profile are the most prominent facial features of Aquarians. You carry yourself with considerable grace, possessing a smile that can disarm anyone and you use it to such good effect on those around you. Most of you have healthy childhoods barring the unusual or weird and although you develop a good constitution as you grow up, some areas of your body, like the throat, lungs, heart, the nervous system, calves and ankles remain vulnerable. So, lots of fresh air, exercise and a good nights sleep will not go amiss.

Aquarius Luck
The lucky colours for Aquarians are grey, black, aquamarine blue, green and purple. Saturday and Sunday are their lucky days, whereas numbers in the series 4 and 8 prove good. Sapphire, opal and onyx are good stones for Aquarians to wear. Uranus and Saturn are your rulers and your element is air.

Aquarius Traveller
You are not much of planners so generally the holidays you take are not pre-planned months ahead. Infact for you, planning takes away half the fun! You like to visit off beat places. Sitting cross-legged meditating and seeking inner peace is your idea of absolute heaven. Finding a partner for such a holiday may be a problem for you.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Sea Goat
* Ruling House : Tenth House
* Ruling Planet : Saturn
* Gemstone : Blue Sapphire
* Element : Earth
* Most compatible with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Can be good with : Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces
* A 50-50 chance with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* Doubtful with : Gemini, Aquarius, Libra

Capricorn Personality
Capricorns are diligent, conscientious, hardworking and cautious, seldom allowing themselves any sort of permissiveness; this makes them among the most reliable people to work with. You endure hardship well and can be very tolerant, slogging your way up life's steepest climbs and climb you must. You are highly ambitious and will work your way up with patience and hard work - exactly like the mountain goat that represents your Zodiac sign. You have an admirable sense of discipline and a good head for managing finances. Most of you are self-contained and tend to carve your own way. Those who know you well will admire you for your sense of duty, your selflessness in service and your devotion. Although not exactly the centre of attraction at parties, you have a sense of humour that many find attractive. You are sure-footed and most of your productivity is the result of the confidence you bring to your work. You tend to spend far too much energy in being the achiever. You also tend to be moody and fairly self-destructive.

Capricorn Lover
Your ardent and incurabe romantic yearning for true love, which is checked by Saturn -- the stern planet of discipline. It commands you to be calm, practical and serious. To top it all your practicality and sensibility ensure that you snag the right partner in marriage who can be a good parent and do you proud. Those belonging to the zodiac signs of Taurus, Scorpio and Virgo will make good partners for Capricorns. Nevertheless, love for a stable home and loyalty towards the spouse are your primary concerns. Man or woman, Capricorns love their home, but they are reverent about family ties -- be these their own or the ones created with the partner. If you marry a Capri then be prepared to love your in-laws, no matter what. They seldom marry in haste and abhor divorce, but when it happens it is final.They are pretty good and strict parents always concerned with the best for their children's future.

Capricorn Professional
Capricorns make good business people. Shrewd and hardworking, it is unlikely that you will take any rash decisions. You are ambitious and even if you do not have a career of your own, you will make sure your spouse climbs the ladder. You are not up to too much competition and will work at your own pace and deliver the best you can. Capricorns will do well in the fields of academics, industry and even agriculture. Dealing with antiques is also a good profession for you. Money rarely comes to you as an unexpected windfall. It will come through hard work and it will come in a bit late. You should, however, settle down comfortably by the time you are in your early forties.

Capricorn Traveller
You love high places and blossom on mountains. Though you would love to go on a luxurious and comfortable holiday but you are equally frugal about spending money even on a holiday..and keep your expenses in check. Even on holiday you keep yourself disciplined and active; no overindulgence for you. You enjoy historical places and the romance surrounding them.

Capricorn Teens
This young lady is both studious and diligent; she doesn't see much beyond work. She will figure at the top of her class, and that's just the first step for someone as ambitious as her. She is generally friendly, a trait which helps her to achieve her goals, but she'll need a lot of external support to prevent her from taking life too seriously. Conservative by nature, the Capricorn lass is realistic. Her cautious approach to life does not allow her to be a daredevil. Her exceptional organisational skills help her to tide over most crises and attain her goals.

The Capricorn lad will rarely find any leisure since he will be busy chalking out future plans. Serious by nature, he has no time for flippant socialising and has his mind on more important matters. Of course he doesn't want to be rude, but his passion for getting things done often makes him a little bossy. In his leisure time the Capricorn boy loves to indulge in competition, especially in sports, and he finds it very difficult to cope with defeat. For that he needs the support of his compatriots. One-to-one competition also appeals to him. Practical and reliable, he can be trusted with any new responsibility. At the end of the day, a Capricorn boy likes to be surrounded by the spoils of his success. He has been striving for it all through the day. Someday his toils will pay off and he will rule the world.

Capricorn Kids
The Capricorn kid starts behaving like an adult from a very early age. An entrepreneur from the beginning, this child has ambitious plans to touch the sky someday and what is more surprising, it is all chalked out in great detail! Being a cautious player, of course he or she is not going to attempt something that could possibly fail. An excellent sense of responsibility enables this kid to have a way with peers. There lurks a perfectionist in every Capricorn child, who's ready to walk that extra mile.

Capricorn Well Being
Capricorns are diligent, conscientious, hardworking and cautious, seldom allowing themselves any sort of permissiveness, making them among the most reliable people to work with. You endure hardship well and can be very tolerant, slogging your way up life's steepest of climbs and climb you must. You are highly ambitious and will work your way up through patience and hard work - exactly like the mountain goat that represents your Zodiac sign. You have an admirable sense of discipline and a good head for managing finances. Most of you are self-contained and tend to carve your own way. Those who know you well will admire you for your sense of duty, your selflessness in service and your devotion. Although not exactly the centre of attraction at parties, you have a sense of humour that many find attractive. You are sure-footed and most of your productivity is the result of the confidence you bring to your work. You tend to spend far too much energy towards achieving in your work field. You also tend to be moody and fairly self-destructive.

Capricorn Luck
It is the darker colours, the colours of night, that bring you luck. Black, brown, blue and grey will be good colours to wear, while in gemstones you should choose sapphire, amethyst, garnet and black onyx. Numbers 1, 4 and 8 and those that add up to these prove lucky for Capricorns. Saturday is your lucky day. Saturn is your ruler and your element is earth

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Archer
* Ruling House : Ninth House
* Ruling Planet : The Jupiter
* Gemstone : Yellow Sapphire
* Element : Fire
* Most compatible with : Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
* Can be good with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* A 50-50 chance with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Doubtful with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer

Sagittarius Personality
Bold, dashing and spirited. It's a bit difficult to keep pace with you - whether it is in your movements or in your speech. You like to be free as the wind that blows, quite uncaring of the effect you may have on your surroundings. You could not care less and hate being in an atmosphere that is physically or emotionally claustrophobic. Somewhat lacking in tact, your foot-in-the-mouth syndrome could do with a little thought. Nevertheless, you are honest but more than a little tactless. Sagittarians are ambitious - always aiming higher than the goal they initially set for themselves. You love challenges and are too full of energy to sit still. Although you see yourself more as a sportsperson than an intellectual, you secretly enjoy reading, writing, and exploring subjects unknown to you. You are a good learner and would do extremely well as an academician. You are quite popular, albeit a bit unconventional and are loyal to your friends. Many of you enjoy the patronage of influential people but unfortunately; you will also have your share of enemies who mean serious harm. You are often driven by excitement and can be a bit ungainly when in this state; sweeping gestures tend to send things flying. You are sometimes insecure and edgy. You tend to doubt your decisions and judgement. The advice is - trust your instinct. Avoid going by what people tell you if you want to succeed in your work. A word of caution though -- your instincts may not work too well when you are betting, gambling and speculating, and you may end up losing heavily.

Sagittarius Lover
Although affectionate and loving, Sagittarians are not apt to be too demonstrative. Not much cuddling, showering of gifts, or saying it with roses - something that may be misconstrued as lack of warmth. However, you will make it exciting enough for your beloved. Bungee jumping, mountain climbing, horse riding, going to exotic destinations... all this you will do with your partner. Besides fellow Sagittarians, you will find ideal life partners in Aries and Leo, being closer to your temperament than any other zodiac sign, only they will be able to share your excitement. Marriage with someone who is not able to keep up with your pace may be a failure, so make sure the person cuddling up tight in your roller coaster life is screaming in fun and not fear. You are a loving and playful person and though you are not prepared for children, you make a good parent; you use your enormous patience while dealing with them, giving them the respect they deserve. You are a risk-taker and are often attracted to danger. You should exercise caution as your family depends on you. Sagittarian homes have a distinct mark of their personality. Simply lifting ideas from elsewhere will not do for them -- they like to be a little different.

Sagittarius Professional
You will do well in most occupations that require you to be outdoors. You make good sporting people. You will also succeed as teachers, lawyers, and politicians. Business and banking too are good for you. If you find your work tedious, it is simply a signal for you change to something more exciting. Jupiter, the symbol of good fortune, riches, and status, rules you. Although you will achieve most of this, it will be rather late in life. In fact, up to the age of 30, you are likely to suffer financial setbacks, mostly because of your tendency to be rash. However, you learn well from your mistakes and these monetary setbacks are not going to upset you too much. In fact, even when you are well settled financially, you will not particularly crave for landed property and assets.

Sagittarius Traveller
You dislike going for a peaceful quiet holiday away from the hustle-bustle. The idea is to have fun and frolic on holidays rather than lying with a book. You are born travelers so if possible would visit all the places given in a tourist book. You are open to having a trekking and camping holiday.

Sagittarius Teens
This is a young woman you can always count on, and most of the times, she is fun to be with. The Sagittarius girl never lacks company; she is bubbling with energy and ready to explore any thing. She certainly has the gift of the gab but her tendency to blurt out whatever's on her mind can land her in a mess. People around won't understand that she is simply being honest. If she finds something interesting she will simply go for it. She is not the kind to spend long hours in front of the mirror and happily shares her wardrobe with other girls. The young Sagittarius will excel at school and is likely to travel to another country for higher studies.

A Sagittarian young man is steeped in the spirit of adventure and loves to roam the world more than anything else. He dreams on a grand scale. And what is interesting -- this has a good chance of coming true! He has a fiercely independent spirit and finds it really hard to commit himself to anything. The best thing about him is that he is open to all kinds of ideas and this wins him a lot of friends, and lovers as well. Another reason for his popularity is his carefree, fun loving nature, and the enormous generosity that he bestows on his friends. He has a lot of energy bottled up and sports provide just one outlet. The Sagittarian will spend his life chasing wild dreams

Sagittarius Kids
A happy-go-lucky kid, the Sagittarius child needs to travel all over the place and enjoy his or her freedom to the fullest. Characterised by a positive attitude to life and high energy levels, this kid gets naturally attracted to sports and has an open mind and easily mingles with a diverse group of friends, mindful of being fair and just to all of them. The Sagittarius kid is very talkative but his or her brand of candour can often spell trouble, which is of course cheerfully overlooked by most people.

Sagittarius Well Being
Sagittarians are fun loving, carefree individuals who live life to the fullest. As a result, they generally do not suffer from stress-related problems. However, most Sagittarians tend to take everything very casually, including their health. They rarely, if ever, visit a doctor, because they seldom require to. Sagittarians are the most daring and audacious of all the signs of the zodiac. They are always ready to try-out a new sport or adventure. The only problem is that Sagittarians are prone to minor strains, sprains and injuries. You will have to learn to take it easy and learn to do warm up's etc before putting your body through heavy exercises. Also, give yourself enough time to heal before embarking on any new escapades. A good diet of fresh fruit and vegetables, meat and dairy products should keep you on an even keel, with the occasional time out to rest and relax. A good complexion, shining eyes and a prominent nose are your distinctive features. Some of you may, however, suffer from nervous disorders. Sagittarius rules the motor functions and the lower limbs that in some cases may be vulnerable to injury.

Sagittarius Luck
Autumn colours like yellow, bright orange and rust browns, turquoise and a splash of purple are colours that will bring you good luck. Your lucky stones is turquoise. You are lucky with number 3. Jupiter is your ruler and your element is fire.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Scales
* Ruling House : Seventh House
* Ruling Planet : Venus
* Gemstone : Diamond
* Element : Air
* Most compatible with : Aquarius, Gemini, Libra
* Can be good with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* A 50-50 chance with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer
* Doubtful with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Libra Personality
Easily the most pleasant and beautiful of all zodiac signs, depending on which side of the scales you are on, and if they're balanced, Librans possess natural charm in abundance and an easy going manner that makes things they desire, quite easily accessible to them. Compassionate, generous and diplomatic, you will find people always ready to do you favours. Of course, you too will be equally helpful when they need you. You are often accused of being lazy, but it is only because you burn too much midnight oil and need to recuperate. Indecisiveness is your biggest drawback. It is a trait that often leads to delays; you spend an inordinate amount of time weighing up the pros and cons. You are most apt to postpone difficult decisions for as long as possible than face unsavoury situations. You will be frequently called upon to settle disputes, something you will do with a keen sense of justice. You can provide a heroic, gung-ho display in defending what you judge as right, and then when everyone agrees, you jump ships, raise the pirates flag and become the devil's advocate -- such is the nature of a Libran. You are like the pair of measuring scales that represent this zodiac sign; most of the times it is balanced, but then when the scales tilt, the Libran can be quarrelsome, restless, superficial, vain, confused, or even depressed. Then mysteriously it levels out and all is well, balance is achieved, the easygoing nature, the charm, the sense of humour and tact that will win you new friends and keep those other admirers happy. Librans are big collectors and great admirers of physical beauty. They tend to be big spenders. They like to live in beautiful surroundings and are fairly obsessed with keeping a clean house. In your need for material things, you will even flirt to get what you want. And by the way, try to be a little more tolerant towards those who make snap decisions or seem impulsive, because not everyone is Libran.

Libra Lover
Emotional relationships are based on equal give and take. Librans tend to be involved in a number of affairs and sometimes their affection and friendship is misunderstood as something quite different. Since you tend to get attracted to the opposite sex quite frequently, you must think before getting into a life-long commitment. Ideal matches will be with those born under Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius. Librans like to have friends come over frequently for meals and parties; being good hosts, they ensure guests have a relaxed and comfortable time. As a sociable person, you have a large number of friends; this could arouse a lot of jealousy and suspicion in others, therefore, an imposing partner would not be wise. You work very hard to be amiable, so you have no problems in getting along with family members and can go to great lengths to keep them happy and contented. The home environment will be comfortable and neat, a garden with flowers would be nice, but if that is not possible, a few ferns and indoor plants will be fine.

Libra Professional
Librans make good lawyers and judges. You will also do well in arts, especially music. Science and navigation too will attract you. Alternatively, you can become wine tasters or can even manage breweries. Your work and productivity are easily affected by your moods. You do your best only when you are mentally at peace with yourself. Financially, you will be lucky. A lot of you marry people who are economically better placed than you. Alternatively, you enter business partnerships that bring you money. You do tend to be extravagant but in case you fall short of finances; you will find friends and relatives promptly jumping to assistance.

Libra Traveller
For you a holiday must have style and elegance. You are made for glamour and luxury. Camping holidays are not your cup of tea; unless of course the tent is fully equpped with lots of trappings. The journey has to be short and comfortable. You don't much care for the idea of being on a train from Kashmir to Kanyakumari. Physically you like to look good so stylish luggage with elegant clothes is a must.

Libra Teens
She is a beautiful young lady who is always surrounded by admirers. She is a born charmer who loves to have people around. As Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of Love and Beauty, she is always well dressed and possesses a fine sense of style. Many Libra lasses wind up in the beauty and fashion industry for this reason. Librans can't stand being alone and constantly socialise, and in all probability, are in relationships. And being a born charmer, she will be able to keep the group enthralled. She is sometimes dismissed as superficial and insincere, but her intentions are always genuine. Since Libra is an air sign, she should do well in academics. She is drawn to beauty and aesthetics in her career.

The Libra lad is always conscious of his appearance. He always moves in the right circles, as he wants to be seen in the right company. He is a smooth talker and a born charmer. As Librans make good diplomats, he brings harmony to his group and manages to accommodate divergent viewpoints. At times, he may appear a bit superficial and lacking in passion and deep-rooted beliefs. The main interests of his life are dressing well and spending time in the company of friends. He has a fine sense of style and enjoys spending on luxury. He has a high I.Q. and should he put his mind to it, there is very little that he can't achieve. He will go to the best Universities, mostly because it will enhance his image.

Libra Kids
A born negotiator, the Libra child wants everyone to live in peace and will combine persuasion with flamboyance to effectively mediate in any kind of conflict. This trait, coupled with a preoccupation for a fine external appearance gets the Libran child a lot of friends. This child gets good grades at school, and when it comes to sports, prefers individual games like tennis or golf. Chances are that the Libran kid will be a little indecisive at times, so you may need to do a bit of hand-holding then.

Libra Well Being
Though most Librans are blessed with good health, some of you could suffer from problems like allergies, asthma, frequent colds and flu. Librans are very active; looking after other people does take up a lot of your life. You should always take time out and rest when you need it. Some of you could put on a few extra pounds, though getting rid of them should not be a problem as Librans are active people who enjoy sports, dance, etc. Librans generally have clear complexions, fine hair and teeth. You also have beautiful eyes, though many of you born under this sign may require glasses because of weak eyesight. You are healthy and have lots of stamina. Most of you are gifted with an attractive face and good complexion. Although you may not look strong when young, you are more robust and do get by without any serious problems. As you grow older, you may become a minor hypochondriac, suffering from imaginary ailments. The weaker ones among Librans often suffer from diseases of the stomach, bladder, kidneys and the spine.

Libra Luck
It will do well for you to go for rose pink, pastel shades of all colours, especially light blues. Among precious stones, opal will prove lucky for Librans, while number six is their lucky number. Fridays, sometimes-even Mondays are good days for you. Venus is your ruler and your element is air.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Virgin
* Ruling House : Sixth House
* Ruling Planet : Mercury
* Gemstone : Emerald
* Element : Earth
* Most compatible with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Can be good with : Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces
* A 50-50 chance with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* Doubtful with : Gemini, Aquarius, Libra

Virgo Personality
Practical, cool-headed and thoroughly meticulous -- that's what you are in a nutshell. You are not unnecessarily swayed by emotions and even if sentiments were running high, you can keep a cool head to weigh your approach. Often quiet and reserved, you try to stick to your world, keeping it as tidy and perfect as you can. Nevertheless, you are bustling with energy and always have plenty to do. You are not afraid of taking on challenges and prove your mettle with hard work and a quiet determination. Your quest for perfection and your inability to ignore even the smallest of faults generally proves good for you. You are Nelson's Horatio, quite content not to be in charge, but there to make sure everything runs smoothly and is done as required. You believe in fair play and rarely manipulate. Violent confrontations are not your cup of tea and indeed render you quite ineffective in your work. Honest and forthright, you do not like hypocrites and cannot hide your displeasure at sycophants. Although you are not short-tempered and in fact are slow to get angry, when you do have arguments you try to put up a stiff resistance to anyone opposing you. You tend to make bitter enemies, and like an elephant you remember events that happened a long time ago. You love to travel and generally this proves beneficial for you.

Virgo Lover
Not the most passionate of signs, a Virgo's love life is rarely turbulent or stormy. You are not the kind who likes to cuddle and make a public display of affection but can be quite romantic in your own way. In fact, a Taurean, Capricorn or a fellow Virgo will appreciate your style of courtship, which will include sending a never ending stream of flowers and going to romantic dinners at quiet and elegant places. Even though you are kind and loving, your no-nonsense and critical nature often puts off a lot of people. You always demand perfection and are easily disappointed. Unless you can accept people for what they are and overlook their frailties, you will find it hard to have a loving relationship. A Virgo home is neat and tidy; you go about filling your kitchen with gadgets that may not be of much practical use. Your obsession with order and neatness around the house can be quite infuriating to your partner, who will never seem to meet your exacting standards. Otherwise, you should settle down quite comfortably in marriage.

Virgo Professional
Virgos do well in science and mechanics, often inventing and developing appliances or other new things. You are enterprising and hardworking, and make good managers. As an earth sign, work connected with land is also favorable. Not surprisingly, you have an interest in gardening. You are fond of reading and writing and have a flair for handicrafts. Some of you also make good performing artistes. You will have to work hard for your riches, so be careful with your investments.

Virgo Traveller
You are basically worriers so before a holiday starts you will be found with a list of things to do, places to see and if possible they would like to know if they can learn something useful like cooking, painting, etc on holiday! At the back of your mind you feel guilty about wasting your time. So an environmental or educational holiday is just ideal for you.

Virgo Teens
The Virgo girl is a shy and reserved young lady, disposed to spending much of her time fretting over things. She is a perfectionist who is never satisfied. The ever-organised Virgo is forever planning and making lists. She chooses her friends, both boys and girls with care. She prefers the company of like-minded individuals, perhaps those who are as health conscious as her. As Virgo rules the nervous system, this young girl is prone to nervousness and anxiety. She is consumed by her obsession for detail. Studious and hardworking, she always gets good grades, which gives her immense satisfaction. She is not out there to seek glory and fame, but merely the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Relationship with her siblings may not be good as she is prone to criticise them constantly. Academically, she is inclined towards research activities. She is ideally suited to be a doctor, nurse, programmer or editor.

He is always very particular about his appearance and is a fussy dresser. He is not a big spender, and is careful with his money. He takes a logical approach to every aspect of his life. He expresses himself in a straightforward manner. He often lacks tact and his criticism is not always endearing. With his analytical mind, he is often engaged in activities like chess and advanced mathematics that stimulate his mind. This leaves him little time to participate in physical activities and sports. He is usually a top performer in school and has all the ingredients for a successful career, possibly as a businessman or a doctor. He should watch out for anxiety or depression, which are common amongst Virgo boys.

Virgo Kids
The Virgo kid is a diligent worker and quite capable of accomplishing a lot within a day's work. Having a meticulous nature and being drawn towards more absorbing tasks like plotting stars or laying a garden, this child is a perfectionist and abhors failure. A nervous stomach could also be a part of his or her constitution. At the end of the day nothing is more pleasing to this child than the sight of a tidy room or the satisfaction of a job well done and then, this kid loves to relax with something as simple as a vanilla ice cream!

Virgo Well Being
Virgos tend to be fussy eaters and you often suffer as a result. Mostly, you suffer from anaemia because of iron-deficiency in the diet. You also tend to suffer from back, muscle and bone injuries because of lack of sufficient calcium. Try to include fresh fruits, vegetables and fish in your meals, you should also consume milk and dairy products. The vegetarians among you will have to take care to include iron, protein, calcium and minerals in their diet. Some of you could be prone to dental problems, so you should take extra care of your dental hygiene. Many of you could face psychological problems, as Virgos tend to be compulsive worriers. Try not to let your worries get the better of you. Distract yourself by taking pleasant walks, listening to soothing music and dancing. You have sharp features, often highlighted by a straight nose and thin, perfectly shaped lips. Most of you have good complexion when young. Virgo's are mostly of a small slight build and are, in younger days, a rather delicate lot, health-wise. Many of you tend to have a weak liver and gall bladder and often complain of digestive disorders. However, your health does tend to get better with age.

Virgo Luck
Pearl grey, silver, white and forest green are your lucky colours. Jade, green or white is your lucky stone. Wednesday is your lucky day. Your lucky number is 5. Mercury is your ruler and your element is Earth.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Lion
* House : Fifth House
* Ruling Planet : The Sun
* Gemstone : Ruby
* Element : Fire
* Most compatible with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* Can be good with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* A 50-50 chance with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Doubtful with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer

Leo Personality
You are born to rule. Like the king of the jungle, you are a natural leader. It is not for you to take orders. Needing to assume authority, wherever you are, you are the focus point at any party. Noble as you are, it is very difficult for you to be sly and sneaky. You are honest, frank and courageous and although tending to be outspoken, you are courteous and understand the need for diplomacy when the situation demands. You have a strong aesthetic sense, not only with regard to your possessions, but also the environment around you. You are easily attracted to the rich and the famous, the bold and the beautiful and would often like to fashion your own lifestyle after them. In other words, you are easily seduced by material wealth and luxury and believe in living life in style. Your hobbies will probably be the sporting type or something that is vigorous. You will pursue your hobbies with considerable enthusiasm and excitement and will plunge into them whole-heartedly, at least in the beginning.

Leo Lover
You have a gregarious personality easily standing out in a crowd, always the centre of attention at social gatherings. You are often loud and brash and people often take offence to that. If your big ego doesn't get the better of you, you can be a warm and considerate person. You are a lover with style, wooing your beloved in the most elegant manner. You wine and dine them, shower expensive gifts and roll out the red carpet all the way. You will find ideal life partners among fellow Leos, Aries and Sagittarians. A word of caution, however -- when you enter wedlock, married life will rarely be the same as it was during courtship and if you want smooth sailing, you will have to be less domineering and treat your spouse as your equal. Nevertheless, you will enjoy keeping a home that is good looking, where you can show off your taste and which is also reasonably equipped with material comforts

Leo Professional
You are definitely not suited for any lowbrow job. You should do well in white-collar establishment, where you are required to call upon your skills as a leader and a manager. Normally, you should find yourself heading in the right direction work wise from the age of 22. Since you like to lead a comfortable life, you will manage to earn enough to meet your needs. However, beware of speculation and gambling, as these may not prove lucky for you. Leos often find themselves involved in financial litigation but whether they are settled in your favour or not will depend on your natal chart.

Leo Traveller
You love to to holiday in style. They don't like roughing it out on holidays like trekking or cycling but instead want to be pampered with a good body massage or pedicure. You stretch your pockets to include a luxury cruise or a stay in a five star luxury hotel. You enjoy the thought of eating exotic cuisines and people waiting on you hand and foot!

Leo Teens
Leo girls are at the centre of attraction all the time. And that is the way they like it. The Leo girl always manages to look good. She has a fine sense of style, and is always dressed for effect. Her natural flamboyance and verve make her ideally suited for the show business. With her creativity and drive, she could very well become a film star. Her hobbies include acting and others artistic pursuits, activi ties like tennis, riding and sailing. She is a sociable person and can always be found in groups. She is a born leader; she dreams big and aims high. She may be a handful at times, but this young lady is definitely going places.

The Leo lad cannot be held back in narrow confines. He is a big player for sure. The Leo boy is a born charmer. He is a born leader and is usually the leader of his group. He sets his own rules and plays by them until he's bored, after which he will pick a new sport. He usually excels at school because he cannot comtemplate being anywhere but the top. He likes to think big and will aim for the best universities. He could grow up to be an actor, or an important politician. Driven by ambition and vitality, he wants it all. His flamboyance and love for the spotlight makes him take quite naturally to fame.

Leo Kids
A born performer, the Leo child simply loves to be in the public eye. And being extremely creative, he or she loves to show it by putting up little theatre shows for friends and family. Being the natural choice for a leader, this kid also never forgets to share the spoils of success with pals. The best assets of the Leo child are diehard optimism and cheerful disposition, which makes him or her very popular among friends. Extremely proud, the Leo child simply refuses to take criticism. Quite often, the Leo kid does things for that round of applause.

Leo Well Being
Being a leader and commander, you tend to burden yourself with a lot of responsibility and work related pressures, so a good diet and unbounded energy helps Leo maintain good health. Occasionally you are too busy to eat a proper meal but you do try to substitute with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Leos are so often single-mindedly busy pursuing career objectives that this can take a toll on your health. You will have to learn to slow down and relax more often. Many Leos are predisposed to heart-related ailments. Thus, you will have to cut down on demanding activities and avoid excess salt in your diet. Though most Leos enjoy exercising, you tend to get bored very easily, it is essential then that you bring an element of fun and variety in your exercise routine. Warming up and stretching your muscles before rigorous workouts will help avoid strains and pulls. Leos are a good-looking lot, with your looks reflecting all the sun's energy and vitality. Try some yoga it's gentle pace should help you overcome any tensions in life. Problems with your heart and back, as well as those of the spleen also can adversely affect Leos Take care not to put on weight and eat healthily and Leos will live to a ripe old age.

Leo Luck
As it suits you to be the centre of attraction, go ahead and wear reds, orange, sunny yellow with the occasional foray into purple. They happen to be your lucky colours, along with white that stands out anywhere. If you are buying a ring or any precious gemstone, go for topaz and amber. While you like to take the day off and relax on Sundays, remember this is also your lucky day and you can use it for any important work. Your lucky number is 1, The Sun is your ruler and your element is fire.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Crab
* Ruling House : Fourth House
* Ruling Planet : The Moon
* Gemstone : Pearl
* Element : Water
* Most compatible with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer
* Can be good with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* A 50-50 chance with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* Doubtful with : Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Cancer Personality
Certainly not the easiest person to understand, you are an introvert with a capital I. Emotions are hidden beneath the tough exterior that you possess -- quite similar to the crustacean that represents your zodiac sign. Although you can be kind and affable, your mood swings are unpredictable, tending to be bitter and melancholic, often feeling hurt unnecessarily. While you like to draw sympathy, you can be fairly insensitive towards others, snapping, being rude and short-tempered. However, your seemingly cruel behavior is only a clever means to hide your own insecurities and complexes. Inside, you are almost like a timid, hurt child. You can be admirably kind, generous, understanding and gracious, if all is well with you. Cancerians can be seen involved in many charitable activities, although they will all be at a very public level. No matter how unpleasant you may seem to some people, you have a conscience that prompts you to do the right things - like standing by people in their time of need. Like most water signs, you too have good intuitive powers and mostly put them to good use in managing your life. You have an urge to travel to distant lands but you are a home-loving person. You can do without being so crabby, if one may say so. Keep your moods in check. Remember the people you hurt most often are the ones who have been good to you. You tend to make a mountain out of the molehill and are prone to self-pity. Reserve some of your sensitivity for others who may need it. You can be a tad untidy which won't endear you to more stable signs.

Cancer Lover
You are continually pulled into romance with those who are quite opposite to you in nature. You are strongly attracted to people who are confident, strong and successful. Although you fall in love all the time, your introvert nature and your uneasiness in disclosing your true feelings makes many of these affairs one-sided. You are not likely to rush headlong into marriage, because in selecting a life partner, you will be most likely governed by your head. Those belonging to the zodiac signs of Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces will make good partners for Cancerians. Nevertheless, love for a stable home and loyalty towards the spouse will reward the majority of Cancerians with a reasonably happy married life. You attend to domestic chores cheerfully, take a keen interest in the children. and believe in saving for the rainy day. Man or woman, Cancerians love their home, it is where they feel most secure. Like Sagittarians there is a place for everything, but the Cancerians idea is -- it just does not matter where it is put as long as it's somewhere, under the bed, in cupboards, up in the attic, the garage; not that you are not untidy -- you are the original hoarder and for some it can take a while getting used to this.

Cancer Professional
You have a keen intellect and are good with your hands. You will make commendable painters and sculptors. You will be successful in sales and will do well in advertising and marketing for the food and drinks industry, discussing new campaigns over long lunches, or deals over a lazy breakfast would be utopia to you. Some of you may take to writing as your full-time profession, mix that with being a food critic and the world could be your oyster. Most of you will have reasonably good careers, although there will be a tendency to change to an entirely different field midway. This may happen sometime around the age of 35. Money and material wealth are fairly important to you and most of your important decisions in life are made with the accompanying monetary benefits in mind. Although you are almost miserly with the money you earn, sudden windfalls and gains are often squandered away thoughtlessly. Speculation and gambling rarely prove lucky for you.

Cancer Traveller
You are always happy when you are near water. You love to swim, sail or boat on holidays. Water has an added attraction for you. You are not very adventurous where new places are concerned so you normally keep visiting the same destination over and over.

Cancer Teens
More emotional than the average girl, she appreciates the nurturing aspects of home and hearth. She is dependable and does not view her duty as a chore, but really a pleasure. A true nurturer, she is a comfort-giver to all around. The Cancer girl goes through life with a shell around her that is not easily cracked. If fact, she can stay in that shell until she's sure it is safe to step outside. Most Cancerians are apt to be crabby from time to time, and the Cancer girl is no exception. However, for most part, she has a cheerful disposition. She takes her studies seriously and can retain information well, thanks to her good memory, which also makes her good at taking exams. She will sail through her exams with flying colours. She is apt to view college merely as a means to a great career rather an end in itself.

The Cancer lad is very emotional and apt to mood swings. He often takes offence when none is intended. He is family oriented and a deeply caring person. You can count on him to help out with family chores. He is bound to be involved in sports, preferably those requiring a team effort as he is drawn towards the camaraderie of a team. His hobbies usually involve collecting things. He never throws away anything. He is a natty dresser, though he is certainly not narcisstic . He tends to be a bit of a miser and rarely spends money on himself. Since Cancer rules the stomach, he usually has a healthy appetite, so make sure the fridge is always stocked. He usually makes a good leader and his friends look to him for help and guidance. He is likely to gravitate towards a small college or university where he can build a family environment away from home.

Cancer Kids
The Cancer child is generally bashful and withdrawn, preferring a quiet and peaceful existence, but being very sensitive, is susceptible to tears when things go wrong. The maternal instinct is an ingrained quality and the Cancer kid often becomes the baby sitter of the family. Blessed with an excellent memory and a good record in academics, this kid is given to occasional mood swings and then it's best to give him or her some room to be alone. If you find your Cancer kid lazing around don't worry too much; it's just a passing phase. The Cancer child values family ties and loves to celebrate family reunions.

Cancer Well Being
You normally do not like to engage in too much of physical activity. You would rather spend time lying around at home, reading a good book, snacking on a lot of chocolates and sweets, while this means that you have no problem relaxing, it also means that you have a tendency to overeat, especially fatty foods. You are often struggling to control your weight. To get around the problem, you will have to radically alter your eating habits. Lots of fresh fruits will appease your craving for sweets, while fresh vegetables and salads could replace less nutritious snacks. A low fat, high protein and vitamin-rich diet will have to form the basis of your diet. Last but certainly not the least, you will need to find some time for exercising. As you enjoy spending time with your family, you could try involving them in your exercise regimen, it will add an element of fun and you will have the added benefit of getting the exercise you need. You are prone to illnesses of the stomach and heart. You may also suffer bouts of melancholia. Therefore, you must also take care not to fall back on alcohol in your times of stress, as alcoholism is a great danger in your case.

Cancer Luck
Pale yellow, silver, violet and light green are good colours for Cancerians. You are not really affected by Monday blues. In fact, Mondays will find you upbeat, as solutions come easy and things seem to go on the right track - it is your lucky day. For those Cancerians who like jewellery or like to wear gemstones for luck, pearl and moonstone would be a good. You're lucky number is two. The moon is your ruler and your element is water.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Twins
* Ruling House : Third House
* Ruling Planet : Mercury
* Gemstone : Emerald
* Element : Air
* Most compatible with : Libra, Aquarius, Gemini
* Can be good with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* A 50-50 chance with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer
* Doubtful with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Gemini Personality
Funny, brimming with life, full of ideas on one hand; inconsistent, capricious, superficial on the other. These are the twins that represent Gemini, a bundle of maddening contradictions. Be that as it may, they can be simply adorable creatures who love life and add zest and happiness to the world by being what they are. You are the life and soul of any party, amazing all and sundry with your apparent knowledge of everything. Although, it is easy for many to see through how you only skim the surface- it does not really bother you since you are going to give up your audience sooner than they are going to give you up. You may be a Jack-of-all-trades but it does not mean that you lack the ability to master skills; you just don't have the time, something else always seems to come up. You are versatile and have an amazing grasp of the subject you choose, although it may not interest you for long. With an active and creative mind, you can come up with the goods but it still requires great effort for you to follow them up. However, your talents, like you, need to be recognized and appreciation serves as encouragement.

Gemini Lover
You are best advised not to rush headlong into marriage; give adequate thought before popping the question. Libra, Aquarius, fellow Gemini, and Aries are best suited as life partners for Gemini. Make sure you feel very comfortable with the person you want to marry, before you commit yourself. Anyone romantically involved with you, even for a short while, is likely to find you affectionate, interesting, adventurous and a fun person to be with, but your fickle, almost uncaring attitude will manage to break many hearts before you finally settle down. You may be a notorious flirt, but it will be wonderful coming home to someone who has stood by you through all the highs and lows. Be sure that your partner shares your sense of humour. You are a fun person to be with. You get along with children like a house on fire. You will never stray if your family life is satisfying.

Gemini Professional
You will do well as linguists, teachers and writers. In fact any field, which allows you to come in contact with a variety of people, will hold interest for you. Some of the well-known media personalities are Geminis. Travel and marketing are other areas of work you can be satisfactorily involved in. It is easy for you to work for people who admire your capabilities and trust you with your work. A word of advice - don't be greedy about money and avoid speculation.

Gemini Traveller
You love to travel with close friends and family in tow to talk to. Mercury the ruling planet wants constant interaction and mental stimulation. You get easily bored so they prefer to go on a package tour. You would probably pack your cell phones, books, magazines and best sellers go where you go...just incase you are caught in a situation that has you doing nothing! Television sets are a must your room..you like to stay connected.

Gemini Teens
The Gemini girl is quick on the uptake, brilliant in patches. Represented by the Twins, she is apt to run in opposite directions. Her heart may want peace, but her mind needs stimulation. Smart and witty, she has loads of friends and the phone will never stop ringing. Her communication skills are highly developed and her letters are usually masterpieces. The Gemini lass needs a host of hobbies to keep her occupied, which is why she is constantly engaged in everything from aerobics to philosophy. Though she loves to talk and gossip, she usually excels at studies. And she does that without trying hard too hard. She enjoys sports like swimming. She may also be involved in athletics, burning off the excess energy.

He is a smart and likeable young man, who charms everyone with his ready wit and humour. Though he is not a born leader, he always participates in group activity -- he loves people. He generally lacks in consistency and flits from one thing to the next. A variety of things capture his imagination, be it chess, trivia or computer games. The chief dangers are a lack of patience and an unwillingness to persist until a thing is thoroughly mastered. He sometimes glib-talks, simply skimming over a subject without a thorough understanding. He is a born charmer and can leave a group enthralled with his talk. He may find his calling as a politician or a public servant. However, he may change his mind a hundred times about his future career.

Gemini Kids
This is a child who revels in doing too many things all at once and needs to have his or her hands full to keep boredom away. Of course this mischievous youngster is very likely to spring nasty surprises on Mom, but is equally good at entertaining friends, of which there'll be plenty. This kid has a great sense of humour and you have no choice but to sit back and take in all the action. The Gemini child loves to talk. Make sure you leave around a lot of good reading material.

Gemini Well Being
Gemini's have supple bodies and a good bone structure. You have a cheerful face and it is very easy to detect signs of anxiety, tension or unhappiness in you. Your face gives away what you might try to hide behind wit and humour. Gemini's also rarely put on extra weight. The rib cage, shoulders, arms and fingers are vulnerable to accidents, while some of you may suffer from bronchitis and asthma. You are particularly wary of physical pain and would go that extra length to avoid any unpleasant situations. Your busy lifestyle is often the cause of your problems. You are frequently involved with more than one task at a time. If you don't slow down and find time to take care of yourself, your health is likely to suffer. You must take time out to rest and relax as your hyperactivity can leave you feeling stressed and anxious, so it is essential that you take steps to bring your stress level down. Drinking chamomile tea with milk before bed will soothe your nerves and help you relax and sleep well. You could try Yoga as a remedy for your problems. It would calm your nerves, help you slow down and improve your concentration.

Gemini Luck
Pearl grey, light green and silver are lucky colours. While selecting jewellery with precious stones, aquamarine your lucky stone stands foremost, surrounded by diamonds would also be beneficial. Wednesday is a good day for Geminis. The lucky number is five. Mercury is your ruler and your element is air.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Bull
* Ruling House : Second House
* Ruling Planet : Venus
* Gemstone : Diamond
* Element : Earth
* Most compatible with : Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus
* Can be good with : Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces
* A 50-50 chance with : Aries, Sagittarius,Leo
* Doubtful with : Gemini, Aquarius, Libra

Taurus Personality
Taureans like to be rooted -- whether it is your environment, work, home or your opinions. Thus you are a picture of stability to some and to others you can be stubborn, with a mind closed to new ideas and a certain unwillingness to change. But it works both ways, you are determined and do not easily buckle under pressure and adversity. You are patient, loyal and caring. Like the bull that represents your zodiac sign, you will be slow to anger but once annoyed, you will rage and turn ferocious. There is no stopping you then. Like fire, you can be a good friend and a bad enemy; you can also be quite shy and reserved. But like the proverbial bull in the china shop, a little clumsy in both life and language being remarkably outspoken and expressive with speech and exaggerated hand and arm movements when enraged. You are not the kind to undertake risky ventures and certainly are not too apt to be rash. This is partly because you are lazy and partly because of your need to hold on to what you already possess. You like to live comfortably and are a good provider. Ruled by Venus, you seek the pleasure of the senses and to you, being a true admirer of beauty, material comforts are far more important than for other zodiac signs. You are stubborn, carrying this trait to all spheres in your life, thereby, in a way, closing your options for a better life. Your stubbornness, combined with laziness can create problems you will find difficult to deal with. Often you will make little or no effort to change the situation around you. Nothing seems to drive you but the temptation to acquire some material benefit to keep you and yours happy.

Taurus Lover
Taureans are family-oriented people and enjoy spending time with loved ones. You are drawn towards children and the children in turn, look up to you. Large-hearted to the point of being self-sacrificing, always putting your family's needs above your own, and getting along with everyone, unless they try to dominate you is the Taurean way. Strong believers in fidelity and stable relationships, you can be romantic, attentive, tender, and affectionate. Rarely feeling the temptation to stray, you can be quite possessive and can indeed get jealous if your partner's attention wavers. The romance with your partner is something that will be of constant interest and is unlikely to die even when you settle down to the routines of married life. Taurus will find an ideal match in fellow Taureans, Virgos and Capricorns. Marriage with an air sign like Aquarius could also prove successful. You will take a fair amount of interest in what you fill your house with and will definitely do your best to provide all material comforts.

Taurus Professional
Taurus is the money-sign of the zodiac and make excellent businesspersons. Not only will you be successful in making money; you will be able to preserve it well. You should be able to develop your business profitably and very rarely allow any rash decisions to harm your interests. You will make good financiers and bankers. If you choose the arts, as some Taureans do, it is more likely to be music, where you will excel; also doing well in work connected with land or environment.

Taurus Traveller
You are an earthy sign. The lush and rolling hills are ideal for holidaying...but only in an out of this world resort where good living is high. Good comfortable living is your number one priority. Everything is pre-planned from ticket booking to hotel reservations. Basically you are homebodies so travelling to unknown places is not something you are always ready to do. A holiday in a familiar place or not too far away from home ground is what you need.

Taurus Teens
This girl is extremely fashion conscious and loves to dress up. She is ruled by Venus, the planet of Love and Beauty. She has a penchant for necklaces, as Taurus, her sign, rules the neck and throat. She can often be seen at shops, spending her stash of cash. She can be a bit self-indulgent at times, so gently remind her that she may not need all the things she spends her money on. She has a weakness for all things sweet, which often causes digestive problems. She is extremely patient and determined as she systematically goes about realising her goals. Her ambition ensures that she is both hardworking and helpful towards others. She is not likely to be actively involved in sports, though she wouldn't mind light sports like golf. The Taurus girl is a bit obstinate at times and holds fixed opinions, but on the other hand, when she sets goals for herself, she follows them up thoroughly and unwaveringly. She is rarely hindered by obstacles that others find daunting. Look out for her, she will go places.

The Taurus lad is big, powerfully built and obstinate. While he may be extremely stubborn and want to have his way, it would do well to remember that 'his' way is probability the best 'way' of all! He can be very opinionated, but he can also be extremely patient, tolerant and dependable. He pursues his goals with perseverance and determination, and it shows up in his schoolwork. He does well at school, paving the way to a good career. He can often be self-indulgent, spending money on the good life. He works hard so that he can pay for his own indulgences. The Taurus lad knows the value of networking and always mixes with the right crowd. He is a plodder, and rarely gives in to frustrations. He enjoys outdoor activities like hiking and gardening; anything that gets him close to the earth. The Taurus boy is a neat, orderly person. All in all, he is the perfect son to have.

Taurus Kids
Endowed with a balanced disposition, the Taurean child believes in a steady approach to things. A practical mind, combined with a disciplined regularity goes into the making of this well-adjusted kid. A homely and inquisitive child, this youngster often acts stubborn and has a tremendous need for affection. There's no harm in letting this kid spend sometime in the kitchen, because, besides being a diligent student he or she would probably grow up to be a future gourmet as well.

Taurus Well Being
This zodiac signs rules the neck, throat, tongue, ears and the thyroid gland and care should be taken to avoid any trouble in these areas. You are muscular and athletic, but you have a tendency to put on weight. Vegetarians should consume good quality protein from lentils, pulses and fish It is very important to take good care of your health, as people belonging to your sign are predisposed towards heart-related complications later in life. You can avoid this by maintaining a simple exercise regimen. Aerobics, brisk walking, cycling, swimming, etc. at least three times per week would be ideal. Yoga is good too, but is not a substitute for aerobic activity. As most Taureans do not bring home their work pressures, you are not likely to suffer from stress-related problems. You are also very slow to anger. However, when you do, it takes a long time for your anger to cool down. This poses an additional danger for your heart and blood pressure. Whenever you feel a bout of anger rising within you, take a deep breath, count to ten or walk away Although you tend to look rather stocky and are prone to put on weight, you can be surprisingly graceful in your movements. You have a good complexion and noticeable eyes. Taureans are prone to throat infections that if neglected, they may lead to laryngitis. Thyroid and constipation are also common complaints.. You maintain a high protein/high fat diet. You must also consume good quality protein from lentils, pulses and fish (if you are a non-vegetarian). Stay away from fatty meats and cheese. It is very important to take good care of your health, as people belonging to your sign are predisposed towards heart-related complications later in life. You can avoid this by maintaining a simple exercise regimen. Aerobics, brisk walking, cycling, swimming, etc. at least three times per week would be ideal. Yoga is good too, but is not a substitute for aerobic activity. As most Taureans do not bring home their work pressures, you are not likely to suffer from stress-related problems. You are also very slow to anger. However, when you do, it takes a long time for your anger to cool down. This poses an additional danger for your heart and blood pressure. Whenever you feel a bout of anger rising within you, take a deep breath, count to ten or just walk away.

Taurus Luck
Rose pink, brown, grassy green and all shades of blue are good colours for Taureans. Friday is your lucky day, whereas number six and others that add up to it bring you luck. In gems, you should go for diamond, white zircon and moonstone. Venus is your ruler and your element is earth.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Ram
* Ruling House : First House
* Ruling Planet : Mars
* Gemstone : Red Coral
* Element : Fire
* Most compatible with : Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
* Can be good with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* A 50-50 chance with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Doubtful with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer

Aries Personality
When the parade comes to town, look at the one who leads -- it will most likely be an Aries. Not one to be cowed down by failures, you play the game for the recognition it brings. You love to take on new challenges and even lead the way, offering new ideas and finding easy solutions to problems that might seem baffling to others. But in all this, you can't be rushed; you certainly cannot work with someone breathing down your neck. Given the freedom, you will enjoy the challenge and do your best. Although you are pleasant company, you may not be the most popular person around, but that is something you don't take to heart. For you, it is more important to be honest and to be able to speak your mind. You cannot be accused of being short tempered, but once annoyed, it is not easy for you to hide your displeasure and a quick outburst is all you need to calm your nerves. In a teamwork environment, you like to stand up and be counted; you certainly do not like to be ignored. Ironically, it is when you feel rejected, that you are able to contribute your best - perhaps more out of a need to prove to yourself than to be a winner. Once a team member, you will never let your partners down. Try not to be too impulsive; you must make decisions with a cool head. Aries are grand openers but sometimes lacking in the finishing department when someone else can tie up the loose ends. Try to be more diplomatic and use restraint to avoid unpleasant consequences. Remember, not everyone has the fire.

Aries Lover
When in love, you don a pair of rose-tinted glasses and the world is a magical place for you. The idea of romance captivates you and you ignore all else to be near your beloved. Candlelight dinners, soft music, slow dances, late night walks hand in hand by the light of the moon on remote windswept beaches - everything is possible, and it does not stop there, Aries will profess undying love for their beloved - a promise they are most likely to keep. Ideal life partners are most likely to be other Aries, Leos, Sagittarians, or Scorpios. On the family side, life may not be the picture of harmony, as you have a tendency to be opinionated and forceful, always wanting to have the last word and this may cause friction. You need to be more flexible and tolerant to achieve a harmonious family life. Aries do make caring partners, although at times you might expect too much from your spouse, this will be more so in the case of men than the Aries women who will settle down to their partners' habits more easily. Home is a neat place, a practical blend of comfort and aesthetics, preferring well-ventilated houses where there is enough space to move about.

Aries Professional
Aries make good professionals and generally do well leading from the front. Not one to be closed in, they like to be the captain of their ship with freedom to roam the decks, handing out orders and making sure things get done. Fields like engineering, medicine, space science and metallurgy are good places for an Aries. But you also belong in any job that may bring you recognition or attract attention to yourself. Your sympathy with the underdog and a sense of fair play, combined with the courage to speak your mind should also make you a good trade union leader. And although you will also do well in business, you must be careful not to be overconfident and not to invest your money rashly

Aries Traveller
You love to explore new places that too at the speed of light You often take the fastest means of transport to your destination. Adventurous holidays including water rafting, bungee jumping or horse riding is what drives you wild. Since the heat and energy level is high you naturally prefer cool places for holidays. The mountains are a place you love to explore and visit, especially if there is a little cottage where you can shack up and rough it out!

Aries Teens
The Aries girl is a live wire, full of verve. She has loads of energy to burn, and attracts a lot of admirers. She has a fiercely independent streak and likes to chart her own course. It is not unusual to find her taking on leadership roles at school. As Aries rules the head and the face, she will always be particular about her makeup. She can be a bit selfish at times; she sure won't like to exchange clothes with a younger sister. There could be some major feuds with siblings, and parents may have to intervene occasionally. She is a hyperactive, forever rushing from one activity to the next. Being the energetic type, she is very likely to be actively involved in sports, usually the physically demanding ones. She is self-sufficient, and goes after what she wants with will power and determination. She thinks big and is likely to go to the right academic institutions. She is definitely an achiever who is going places.

A parent will find it hard to keep up with the Aries boy; he has tremendous reserves of energy. He usually has a fiery temper and can be dangerous when aroused. He is one of the most dynamic people around. Occasionally his haste will get him into trouble, or even accidents. The Aries teen views life as one long competition, and always struggles to come out on top. This, combined with his impulsiveness, often leads to frustration. He is a born leader and always rushes to take charge. Be it the football team or the local cricket club, you will find him in a position of authority. The Aries lad can be a bit self-centred at times due to his need to have things his way. He is a bit of a pioneer and wants to chart his own career. When presented with a challenge, he will be the first to jump up and accept it. Strength, determination, initiative, energy and courage are his greatest strengths. This boy is certainly going places.

Aries Kids
The Aries child is simply unstoppable when it comes to exploration and adventure, and indulges in a host of extra-curricular activities, from climbing trees to playing soccer. Pioneering by nature, and often rebuked for irrepressible enthusiasm, this kid is very sensitive about independence and so it is also important to give this child a feeling of self reliance. Thoroughly imbibed with the competitive spirit, the Aries kid doesn't know how to slow down, and let's face it, is not meant for parents who are faint of heart!

Aries Well Being
You are always on the move and don't have the time to eat sensibly. Your eating habits mirror your busy lifestyle: lots of starches and fats, not enough of proteins, vegetables and fresh fruits. You drive yourself very hard, always striving to reach the top, often landing yourself in stressful situations, resulting in related disorders: heart disease and stomach ailments. You are advised to set aside some time for eating nutritious, balanced meals at the right hour. Increase your intake of proteins, fresh fruit and vegetable. Limit your intake of white breads, carbohydrates and fatty or processed foods. Caffeine should be avoided, as it only increases stress levels in the body. Include some form of exercise, however light, in your daily routine. A nice, relaxing, after-dinner walk can make a big difference. While exercising, don't push yourself too hard. You also have the tendency to injure yourself, so do be careful. Although not overly tall, you are set apart by your bone structure that is squarish, giving the impression of a strong build. Most of you you have well-developed muscles and very regular facial features. Aries tend to have even, white teeth. Although you are as strong as the ram that represents you, be careful with what you eat and exercise regularly if you don't want to put on weight around the middle, which most of you do. You are most vulnerable around the head, eyes and face. You are prone to headaches and should definitely take utmost precaution against head-injuries and accidents caused by fire.

Aries Luck
White and red are your lucky colours. Red coral, red ruby, garnet, and bloodstone - these gemstones are known to bring good luck to Aries, as does diamond. Select a Tuesday to start a new venture or to propose to your sweetheart - it is your lucky day. And nine is your lucky number. Mars is your ruler and your element is fire.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Scorpion
* Ruling House : Eighth House
* Ruling Planet : Mars/Pluto
* Gemstone : Red Coral
* Element : Water
* Most compatible with : Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer
* Can be good with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* A 50-50 chance with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* Doubtful with : Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Scorpio Personality
Intense, dominating, and energetic -- your hypnotic stare and your vital force overwhelm those around you. You are passionate and committed to your friends and ruthless with your enemies. Upon the battlefield of life, you are the one who leads, storming the gates of the fortress. Scorpios have a keen intellect and admirable qualities of patience and creativity. You are definitely not the gregarious, social kind, always ready to please people. You are genuine and most of the times, above petty gains. However, you are certainly not above conspiracy and manipulation. Like the scorpion with the sting in its tail, people had better watch out before they rub you the wrong way. Quite a few of you will devote considerable time and energies to develop strategies and plot revenge against your enemies. You are a determined lot. Set to achieve, there are very few challenges that you will not meet. Actually, all activity must hold a sense of purpose for you. You have an inner strength and a great capacity to endure hardships. There is in fact a streak of masochism in you that enables you to destroy something you have nurtured with great care and love. You can easily change course if it suits you better. Nevertheless, you are dynamic, fascinating and often mysterious - a combination that draws many towards you.

Scorpio Lover
You are among the best lovers, instinctively knowing what your partner wants. You are intense and passionate and none of your lovers will ever forget you. You will sweep many off with your magnetic charm. You will rarely distinguish between a passing fancy and true love. For you, it will always be a passionate involvement. Scorpios can also be very jealous and will go to any lengths to claim what they feel is rightly theirs. You will find your ideal life partner in fellow water signs - Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. It is the water signs that understand you best. You may have disagreements with your family, as you feel they cannot understand you or the intensity of your passion. Though you are a good parent, you can turn wrathful without warning. This often makes your relationship with your children rather uneasy. The Scorpio house will be comfortable and classy, but not overtly flamboyant as you do have an eye for detail and will prefer the minimalist style.

Scorpio Professional
You are ideally suited for the sciences and will do extremely well as physicians and surgeons. Architecture and mechanics are also some areas where you will excel. Whether in industry or the military, you will make excellent commanders. Some of you will be interested in fine arts, literature, and journalism -- fields in which you will do quite well. You need not travel long distances to seek fortune and success. In fact, travelling sometimes has quite the opposite effect on you. You will have a good head for business and will be able to plan your investments shrewdly. You normally look towards making big money, but must have patience, lest you adopt less than honourable means to reach your goals

Scorpio Traveller
You love to holiday in those exotic places that normally others don't go to. Visiting Pyramids in Egypt to the Great Wall of China would always appeal to you. You can withstand any climatic conditions. Package and guided tours are not your idea of holiday. You like to be different in the places you visit and your approach to holidaying.

Scorpio Teens
A Scorpio girl is secretive, mysterious and enigmatic. She is a very focussed person, and once she makes up her mind, there is no stopping her. She is very passionate, and occasionally quite manipulative. As she is given to frequent mood swings, she can be a handful at times. She is a very sensitive person who relies on her intuition to explore the world around her. She enjoys sports, which satisfies her competitive urge. Stubborn and strong-willed, she doesn't believe in half-measures. She is erratic and unpredictable, yet on some days she can be amiable company and on others she jealously guards her privacy. This also applies to her appearance, as at times she won't step out of the house without being well dressed and at other times, she won't bother to comb her hair. School life is unpredictable, and even if she is not a model student, she can achieve her goals by the dint of sheer determination and perseverance.

He is a mysterious and secretive person who never reveals what he is thinking. He possesses an almost mystical and magnetic quality but can also be quite ruthless and dangerous. He usually has a penetrative insight and needs to know people to the core. He enjoys sports, but mostly for the competition it offers. Being a water sign, he is unpredictable and occasionally undergoes mood swings. He is a very passionate and intense person who cannot tolerate things not going his way. He enjoys challenging hobbies. He usually has his own agenda and expectations from life and he goes about fulfilling them with a single-minded passion. He is confident and resourceful, with people flocking to him, but mind you, the sting of a Scorpio can be really dangerous

Scorpio Kids
The Scorpio child is penetrating and passionate, and quite mysterious -- reasons that often lead to disagreements with other kids. What might appear to be an unsophisticated probing nature is nothing but the crass honesty of this child. It is very difficult to dissuade the Scorpio kid who has already decided on something. These ventures are often ingenious, yielding interesting results. Don't be surprised if you find a streak of jealousy in this kid.

Scorpio Well Being
Scorpios are perhaps the most mysterious and difficult to understand of all the signs of the zodiac. They often seem to have a love-hate relationship with food. Some of you could be overweight while others among you could be anorexic. The Scorpio tendency to brood and keep worries and troubles inside could result in digestive problems. As a cure, some of you will over eat, while others won't eat at all. Many Scorpios also suffer from insomnia and sleep-related disorders. Try not to brood over the day's problems. Swimming is a good form of exercise as well as relaxation for you. You have an attractive, tidy appearance and a fine skin texture. You tend to put on weight, as you grow older. You are prone to catching infections faster than most others and often suffer from fevers. The throat, pelvis, groin and bladder are particularly vulnerable in the case of Scorpio's. Take extra precaution against contagious diseases.

Scorpio Luck
Black, blood red, burgundy, wine, and maroon are good colours for the scorpion. Bloodstone is your lucky stone, whereas nine and other numbers that add up to it are lucky numbers. Tuesday and Thursday are good days. Mars and Pluto rule you and your element is water.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

* Symbol : The Fish
* Ruling House : Twelfth House
* Ruling Planet : Jupiter / Neptune
* Gemstone : Yellow Sapphire
* Element : Water
* Most compatible with : Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
* Can be good with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* A 50-50 chance with : Aquarius, Libra, Gemini
* Doubtful with : Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Pisces Personality
Like its symbol of two fish swimming in opposite directions, Pisceans are always torn between choices whether to seek the light or sink into the darkness. Being well liked for their kind and sympathetic nature, their charm of manner and carefree nature will impress many. You are compassionate, and unless pushed to the wall, will rarely hurt anyone. A Piscean can be very caustic but the sarcasm is not always direct and generally goes unnoticed. However, this can land you in a spot every once in a while. You find it difficult to conform and follow rules or to cope with discipline. When the going gets really rough, the Piscean may try to flee down river and hide amongst the vast schools of fish swimming lazily around. The very weak-willed among you are likely to indulge in alcohol and drugs to escape. Alternatively, you might be able to pour out your emotions in creative arts. You put your emotions in poetry or short verse but seldom open up to those around you on a personal basis. Although you might be impractical and somewhat uneasy with the real world, you are brave and prefer a lot of independence. Pisceans like to delve in spiritual matters and lots of you are fascinated by the occult. Maybe because many fish are psychic or their dreams can be strange and portential. Remember one thing: you are the culmination of all that has gone before, whilst Aries is the birth of the zodiac, Pisces the twelfth sign is death and eternity, you are the distillation of all the other signs.

Pisces Lover
In the world of romance, you crave fairytales, being more in love with the idea of love than being in love itself. Though you are strongly attracted to good looks, your attention will completely fizzle out if your partner is not intelligent; you may just simply lose interest once you have been able to "secure" the object of your desire. For some, the pursuit is sometimes more fun than the end result. Those born under Scorpio, Cancer, and Pisces make ideal partners for Pisces. Pisceans can be unnecessarily suspicious and jealous, and this might cause a lot of heartache. Although you will expect a perfect marriage, your unpredictable moods will be the reason for some tension at times. The most important ingredient you bring to a relationship is love. You are gentle, sensitive, and a romantic through and through, valuing fidelity in a marriage and will be kind and affectionate to your spouse and children. Though you let your partner take on a dominant role in public, you like to rule at home. As you long for love, it is essential that you establish a loving relationship with your family.

Pisces Professional
Pisceans will do well in performing arts, especially the theatre. In science, Pisceans tend to work in the fields of either physics or medicine. They will also do well in ocean-based occupations or working with animals. Pisceans normally have talents that will get them money and fame. The streak of independence in you rarely allows you to be dependent on others. You will be ready to help the needy, having no consideration for a rainy day, even if you are not sure that it will be returned. You hate to chase money owed, hoping that it will be returned voluntarily. You are often distracted when bored, which tends to affect your work adversely. You need to be focused and inspired to give your best.

Pisces Traveller
You love water and would head straight for some beach resort. Perhaps scuba diving and water skiing on holiday is your dream holiday; though splashing around on the beach is your idea of fun too. You are generally very emotional and romantic so would love to holiday with your partner.

Pisces Well Being
Pisces people have slow metabolisms, which is why they wake up sleepy eyed and listless, poor eating habits can bring troubles so try to set regimes and stick to them, Pisceans lungs are not strong, they can be a bit asthematic and are also prone to colds and flu bugs. Those of you living in cold climates should take adequate protection against the cold (keep your head, hands and neck covered). Those living in warmer climes should take special care of personal hygiene. Most of you are less than average in height, with large or small hands, big feet or little feet there are generaly no in betweens. You have a tendency to put on weight, unless you make special efforts to fight it off. A double chin is common among Pisceans and a good number among you have large eyes and a wide mouth. Ankles and feet are the vulnerable areas of Pisceans. Some also suffer from liver and digestive afflictions and varicose veins. Painting, listening to music, reading and dance can help calm your nerves. Swimming is a good form of exercise as well as relaxation for you. Pisceans are often good at martial arts as they have the necessary inner strength, try some Tai Chi first thing in the morning to put life in perspective for the rest of the day.

Pisces Luck
Warm colours like red, yellow and orange are lucky for Pisces. Your lucky stone is amethyst, whereas Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday are favorable days. Wednesday and Friday do not prove to be good for people under this zodiac sign. Neptune is your ruler and your element is water

WATER
1. Water people are never petty. They are clever and plan well ahead. But they often tend to be timid.
2. The element Water is represented by blue or black.
3. Water shapes include gentle undulations like waves in a river. A water house has numerous bays, and like the ebb and flow of water, experiences regular change in fortunes)

Pisces Kids
Often found to be living in a dream world, the Piscean kid is frequently misunderstood and wonders why the others don't feel the same. Being extremely emotional, he or she is compassionate to other people's needs and lends them a shoulder to cry on. The Piscean kid is an introvert and could be the target of bullying. So, you'd need to handle those situations with care. Beware of sending this dreamer on any urgent errand!

Pisces Teens
The best shoulder to cry on -- that's the Pisces girl for you. Compassion and sympathy are the hallmarks of this girl and don't be surprised if she ends up in the profession of social welfare. Since much of her time will be taken up relieving others' worries, she will hardly find time to pamper her personal self. Comfortable in second-hand clothes, she'll be happy in whatever makes her feel comfortable. The Pisces lass has a dreamy disposition and loses track when she wanders. She is invariably late for appointments. The best institution suited for her will be, preferably, a small liberal arts college. Always willing to help a friend, the inner beauty of a Pisces lady lies in her creativity and powers of empathy.

Kind and compassionate, a Piscean lad generally goes out of his way to help others. He never intentionally hurt others and seeks to avoid confrontation at all costs. He spends much of his time in the cocoon of his private dream world. He is absent minded at times. He sees the world through rose tinted glasses, he walks around with his head in the clouds. He is generally a loner and often has to be drawn into the company of friends. By and large, he is very selective about his friends. He often lacks in determination and this may account for his not realising his potential. He is an impressionable person who could get into wrong company that might have potentially disastrous consequences. If he can be motivated to work hard, there is very little he cannot achieve.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.

"Hello" said the little boy.

"Hi" replied the little girl.

"Where are you going"? asked the little boy.

"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home", answered the little girl.

"Me too", replied the little boy. "I'm also on my way home from church".

"Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.

"I go to the Baptist church back down the road,"replied the little girl. "What about you?"

"I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill", replied the little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.

"If I get my new Sunday dress wet my Mom's going to skin me alive" said the little girl.

"My Mom'll tan my hide too if I get my new Sunday suit wet", replied the little boy.

"I tell you what I think I'll do" said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across".

"That's a good idea", replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit".

So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on when the little boy finally remarked.

"You know, I never did realize before just how much difference there really is between a Baptist and a Methodist".

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

By Maridol Rañoa-Bismark (The Philippine Star)

Teen PBB (Pinoy Big Brother) grand winner Kim Chiu may be waving to fans, signing autographs and posing for pictures left and right. But she didn’t feel on top of the world when she was a child growing up in a broken home.

"I was quiet. I’d turn on the TV and watch Mara Clara all by myself," she recalls. "I used to cry over my parents’ separation until I realized it won’t bring me anywhere."

Some relatives mistook this for subservience and weakness. They looked down at her and said she won’t make it big someday.

How she longed for her mom, whom she hasn't seen for the past seven years. Her dad, a pure Chinese, on the other hand, has remarried in Mindoro and has another family. Kim grew up under the care of her paternal grandmother.

Since her mom was not around, Kim turned to her older sister, now aged 25, for comfort and guidance. And she vowed to herself: someday, I will prove my detractors dead wrong.

Big Brother saw the drive and the talent in the 16-year-old chinita and pushed her to maximize her potential. When she faltered, Big Brother urged her to go on.

"I learned not to doubt myself in Big Brother’s house," Kim reveals.

Her newfound self-confidence worked wonders. Kim came out of her cocoon. As followers of the top-rated reality show know by now, Kim composed a Chinese song, sang it herself, and stood out in the radio drama her housemates did as one of the house tasks.

She also derived strength and inspiration from housemate "Mommy Jam" (Jamilla Obispo), a single mom who entered the house so she could fund her little son’s cleft palate operation.

Now, the same people who used to taunt her are singing a different tune. They are patting Kim’s back and singing her praises. They are telling the former underdog that she can make it big, after all.

Today, Kim’s schedule of daily TV guestings and interviews is nothing short of punishing. But Kim is enjoying herself.

"I’ve always wanted to be an actress," she relates. "I’d act before the mirror at home."

Now, Kim need not hide her acting ambitions anymore. ABS-CBN has scheduled an acting workshop for her. Her love team with PBB Big Four Gerald Anderson is also getting all the push it can get.

Kim’s delicate Chinese features (mom is half-Filipino, half-Chinese) is being compared to Sandara Park and Meteor Garden’s San Cai.

"I’m flattered," Kim admits.

She will fly to her native Cebu for a much-awaited homecoming on June 18. And when she does, Kim will bring a lot more than just a toy robot for her 11-year-old youngest sibling, a boy. She will assure her siblings that they need not worry about their education anymore. As she promised Big Brother after she passed the grueling auditions, Kim will allot her P1-M prize money for their education.

When she returns to Manila, Kim will resume her fourth year high school studies at the ABS-CBN Distance Learning Center.

Meanwhile, PBB director Lauren Dyogi is giving her a crash course on handling success. Enjoy it while it’s there, he tells her. "Fame is so unpredictable," he explains.

Kim may be having the time of her life. But she also knows keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground is just as important.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

1. For a longer lasting foundation try a product with silicone. The silicone creates a sweat-proof and smudge resistant second skin. For me, I find it helps with my rosacea because the live yeast extract has healing powers.

2. A powder bronzer under blush can really even out skin tone. I dab my brush in the bronzer, then into the blush and lightly cover my whole face.

3. For a new bronzer, use a foundation that is two to three shades darker than your skin tone and apply where you would use your bronzer. In a pinch you could use a brown eye shadow.

4. Papaya mixed with plain yogurt into a paste makes a great exfoliating mask for all skin types!

5. Use an egg white mask for a quick fix for diminishing the appearance of pores.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

1. Use blush as a lipstick, then use clear gloss or lip balm over it. Longer staying power.

2. Natural ingredients have been used for centuries as makeup: apply beet juice to lips and cheeks as a stain,or mix it with melted bees wax to make your own lip balm! Cayenne pepper can plump the lips, but use with caution!

3. Use eye makeup remover to treat super dry, chapped lips. It's a great nighttime lip treatment!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

1. For great looking eyes make sure to use powder shadows for a natural look and a eyeliner pencil for drama at night. Make sure the liner has a smudge tip at one end to get that smoky eye look. Only line the top of the eye is you're looking tired. You don't want to bring more attention to dark circles under the eyes. Neutral tones with a hint of color are flattering on everybody.

2. For sheen on the eyelids, dab a bit of Vaseline for a pretty reflective quality, as well as moisture.

3. Open up the eye with a gold/beige shimmery high lighter onto the brow bone.

4. Don't throw away cash on an expensive eye makeup remover! Find a pretty glass bottle and fill it with baby shampoo.

5. If your cream eye shadow dries out, use a few drops of water or mineral oil to soften it up again.

5. Potatoes, like cucumbers, will reduce the appearance of dark, under-eye circles.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Do you have trouble waking up?

- 10 - Climbing clock.
It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.

- 9 - Wake Up Puzzle.
You have to build and solve the puzzle to make it stop.

- 8 - Wake or Curse.
You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.

- 7- High Tech.
This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.

- 6 - Find The Pin.
You need find the right pin to stop its ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.

- 5 - Chicken and Egg Problem.
The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.

- 4 - GI Joe.
You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.

- 3 - Floating Around.
Will float around the room until you'll catch it.

- 2 – Kaboom.
This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.

- 1 - Hide and Seek.
The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Two old friends meet passing on the street one day. But one looked forlorn, and almost on the verge of tears. His friend asked, "What had the world done to you, my old friend?"

The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars."

"That's not bad."

"But you see, two weeks ago, a cousin I never even knew kicked the bucket, and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear."

"Sounds like you should be grateful..."

"You don't understand!" he interrupted. "Last week my great-aunt passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million."

Now he was really confused. "Then, how come you look so glum?"

"This week... nothing!"

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Little Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

"Well, mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites."

"Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Men are like Vacations -- They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like Weather -- Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like Blenders -- You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like Chocolate Bars -- Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like Coffee -- The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like Commercials -- You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like Department Stores -- Their clothes are always half off.

Men are like Government Bonds -- They take so long to mature.

Men are like Mascara -- They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like Lava Lamps -- Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Two elderly ladies were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection.

The stop light was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be loosing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another inter-section and the light was red again, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was loosing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through. She turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have had us killed!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh hell, am I driving?"

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

1st thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first.

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

A young student approached the famous French scientist and philosopher, Blaise Pascal, and declared, "If I had your brains, I would be a better person."

Pondering the depth of that statement, Pascal paused momentarily before replying, "Be a better person, and you will have my brains."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

When the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was well along in years, his hair was white but he was still a vigorous man. Someone asked him why this was so.

The poet pointed to an apple tree in bloom and said, "That tree is very old, but I never saw prettier blossoms on it that it now bears. That tree grows new wood each year. Like that apple tree, I try to grow a little new wood each year."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Once, while riding through the country with some other lawyers, Abraham Lincoln was missed from the party, and was seen loitering near a thicket of wild plum trees where the men had stopped a short time before to water their horses.

"Where is Lincoln?" asked one of the lawyers.

"When I saw him last," answered another, "he had caught two young birds that the wind had blown out of their nest, and was hunting for the nest to put them back again."

As Lincoln joined them, the lawyers rallied him on his tender-heartedness, and he said: "I could not have slept unless I had restored those little birds to their mother."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him.

"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.

Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer was satisfied with the man's work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away.

The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm. We secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God.

"We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the middle of storms."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." [Martin Luther King, Jr]

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. [Helen Keller]

"I hope I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man." [George Washington]

"Reputation is what men and women think of us. Character is what God and the angels know of us." [Thomas Paine]

Life is a series of experience, each of which makes us bigger even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward. [Henry Ford]

"Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it." [unknown]

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

When I was growing up, my mother was a single mom with two children at home trying so hard to make ends meet.

I would notice over and over that she would work so hard to prepare us a good hot meal. When it was time to eat, Mother was never hungry and therefore, only got a spoonful if she got anything at all. I never ever gave it a second thought.

Back in January, I fell down my steps doing laundry and broke my arm in eight different places and my collarbone in two.

The very next week my husband was laid off his job. My husband is over fifty so you can all understand how hard it has been for him to find employment. We have been living off the small amount of money my job brings in and boy oh boy things get hard.

Recently I have been serving hot meals and getting a real small portion or saying I just am not hungry and allowing my family to get their meal and fill. I now call this, "A Mother's Portion."

Thinking back in life I can tell that my mother took only A Mother's Portion on a lot of things. How I wish now that I could tell her how much she is appreciated and maybe give her A Daughter's Portion back.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

"Your future depends on your dreams."
So go to sleep.

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody."
But why take the risk?

"Work fascinates me."
I can look at it for hours

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So… why learn?

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
What more can I say?

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

By the time the Lord made woman,

He was into his sixth day of working overtime..

An angel appeared and said,

"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

“She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.

"Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

“But I won't," the Lord protested.

"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.

“She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.

"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed.

"You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Have a look at the wrapper on a Coca-Cola 1.5 liter bottle and in the ingredients label you will find phosphoric acid in it. Minute quantities of ethylene glycol are also used (which is acknowledged in the soft drink world for making it really chill). This is popularly known as anti-freeze which prevents water from freezing at 0 deg C and instead drops it 4-5 degrees with minute quantities. This chemical is a known slow poison in the caliber of arsenic.

So, if you manage to drink about 4 liters of Coke within an hour or so, you can die. Read along and give up these dangerous things. Be natural; have flavored milks, tender coconuts, buttermilk, lassi and plain water instead of these "soft" drinks. Guess what's the pH for soft drinks, e.g. Coke? PH 3.4! This acid ity is strong enough to dissolve teeth and bones! Our human body stops building bones at the age of about 30. Softdrinks do not have any nutrition value (in terms of vitamins & minerals). It is high in sugar content, carbonic acid, chemicals i.e. colorings etc. Some like to take cold soft drinks after each meal. Guess what's the impact? Our body needs an optimum temperature of 37 degrees Celsius for digestive enzyme functioning. The temperature of cold soft drinks is very much below 37 degrees or even close to 0 degrees Celsius. This will dilute the enzymes & stress the digestive system. The food taken will not be digested. In fact it will be fermented! The fermented food produces gases, decays and becomes toxin, gets absorbed by the intestine, circulates in the blood stream and is carried to the whole body. Hence toxin is cumulated in other parts of the body, developing into various diseases. Think before you drink coke/Pepsi (or any soft drink) again.

Have you ever thought what you drink when you drink an aerated drink? You gulp down carbon dioxide, when nobody in the world would advise you to drink CO2. Two months back, there was a competition at Delhi University "Who could drink the most Coke?" The winner drank 8 bottles and fainted on the spot-too much CO2 in the blood. Thereafter, the principal banned all soft drinks from the college canteen!

While this might have been an extreme measure, their results do provide some food for thought. Did you know that soft drinks use chemicals in them that cause immense harm to you. Someone put a broken tooth in a bottle of Pepsi and in 10 days it DISSOLVED! Can you believe it? Teeth and bones are the only human parts that stay intact for years after death. Imagine what the drink must be doing to your soft intestines and stomach lining!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, With a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, Lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide with borders now unpatrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And finally, take a look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the MotherShip.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the guns down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up anyhow.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

One of Florida's finest senior citizens went down to his local Chevrolet dealer and bought a brand new Corvette convertible. Heading off the car lot and down the road, he floored it and enjoyed the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a Florida State Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man as he stood on the gas pedal -- 80, 120, 150, 180 mph.

Then, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the Interstate and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the Corvette. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch, "my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Fifteen years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day."

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

Have you guys been hit by the ‘Deal Or No Deal’ craze?

Well, you can play it yourself. The game’s easy. Just click here and you can find out if you are indeed lucky enough to play the big game itself.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than her.

Extra Cash? Extra Cash? Extra Cash?

There is very instructive incident involving the life of Alexander, the great Greek king.

Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and it took him to his death bed. With death staring him in his face, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no consequence.

He now longed to reach home to see his mother's face and bid her his last adieu. But, he had to accept the fact that his sinking health would not permit Him to reach his distant homeland. So,
The mighty conqueror lay prostrate and pale, helplessly waiting to breathe his last. He called his generals